LIFE LIVED BY DESIGN

In this episode of Rewired Minds, Bri Salsman speaks with Brian Aurich, a glioblastoma survivor, about his recent diagnosis and the journey that followed. Brian shares his experiences from the initial symptoms and diagnosis to the emotional and psychological impacts of living with cancer. He discusses the importance of support systems, the unexpected closeness it has brought to his family, and how he navigates uncertainty while maintaining an optimistic outlook. Brian emphasizes the value of living in the moment and making memories with loved ones, as well as the importance of mental health support during challenging times.

• Brian was diagnosed with glioblastoma, a high-grade brain cancer.

• He experienced cognitive issues and headaches before seeking medical help.

• Brian's significant other played a crucial role in encouraging him to seek treatment.

• He emphasizes the need for more research and funding for brain cancer treatments.

• Brian's life was busy and filled with personal challenges before his diagnosis.

• He has a strong support network, including a men's group and family.

• Brian's relationship with his ex-wife improved significantly after his diagnosis.

• He focuses on making memories with his children and loved ones.

• Brian feels optimistic about his future despite the uncertainty of his diagnosis.

• He encourages others to not take days for granted and to plan experiences now.

 

Connect with Brian Aurich

Instagram: @outside.perception

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Be a Guest

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Disclaimer

The stories and experiences shared in this podcast are personal accounts from patients, survivors, caregivers, family members and friends affected by brain tumors. This content is for informational and awareness purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation and treatment options. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

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Transcript

Bri (00:00)

The stories and experiences shared in this podcast are personal accounts from patients, survivors, caregivers, family members and friends affected by brain tumors. This content is for informational and awareness purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation and treatment options. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

 

Bri (00:26)

I'm Bri Salsman, a brain tumor survivor and life coach, and you're listening to Rewired Minds, a podcast where we share brain tumor stories that change us. Today's guest is Brian Aurich. I really appreciate you being willing to share your story, especially because I know this is a recent experience for you. Why don't we jump right in and let our listeners know what is your diagnosis and what has your treatment been so far?

 

Brian (00:56)

Yeah, certainly. So I have a glioblastoma, multiform grade four, high grade cancer. And that was essentially diagnosed July 3rd after I went into… I went in the ER on June 30th and was having some headaches and issues and some cognitive issues. And finally, after they tried some migraine stuff, they finally gave me a CT scan and found a mass and a few days later I was having surgery and had the mass removed, at least 100% of the mass at the time that was in there of course.

 

That was July 3rd and I've been on, I've completed my standard of care as far as for the radiation and the chemo treatments. So I'm done and I'm on my break at the moment and I get my next MRI scan in three days on Thursday. So fingers crossed and hoping for continued clear results, yeah.

 

Bri (01:49)

So we're recording the end of September now. When you say July, you mean July of this year. So just a few months ago.

 

Brian (01:54)

Yes. Yeah, so not even, not even three months yet. So was a little less than three months ago.

 

Bri (02:00)

Wow, what makes you want to share your story?

 

Brian (02:03)

It was surprising. I felt overall, I felt pretty healthy. I've, uh, uh, I don't have any other kind of major issues. I've got a couple of other things I deal with, but nothing major like that. I've had tension headaches for probably 10 plus years. So dealing with more headaches was not really anything new other than this one was a little stronger. And then I was, uh, starting to get, um, I was having some issues getting lost and kind of making some poor decisions. And, um, my significant other, Amy, noticed that something was a bit off and encouraged me to go to the ER.

 

I went to urgent care. That didn't do anything at first. And then she finally got me to ER and that's where we finally got the scan and found out.

 

I think I have known others with this, so other men that about my age and I've now heard many, many stories of many others out there. And unfortunately with glioblastoma, the treatments are have not improved a lot. And so I guess I want to come share my story and the impact of it because we do need more research across cancers altogether and brain cancers and some of those like pancreatic cancer and glioblastoma type cancers that don't have some of the best outcomes for many of those diagnosed with it.

 

And so by sharing that, I just want to share what's out there and I hope that we can all kind of push for more funding and research and getting more treatments available for people impacted by all types of cancers.

 

Bri (03:28)

Yeah, absolutely. You had mentioned that your significant other, Amy, was noticing some things and I find that to be kind of a common experience that it makes, you know, those people around us really, really important and being able to to catch some of these things.

 

I'd love to rewind prior to your diagnosis for a bit and kind of get a snapshot of what did life look like before all of this?

 

Brian (03:48)

Umm… it's pretty busy. It's been, it's been a busy few years as far as life changes and things happening. Amy and I have been together for, just over two years now. In fact, when we first started noticing these issues, we were in Cancun, Mexico, kind of a, just a two year relationship celebration for us when the headaches kind of started coming in strong and, and causing some issues, but they're manageable there. And it wasn't too big of a deal until I got back and really started kind of ramping up.

 

But from kind of going through divorce that started about two and a half-ish years ago for both of us, so we both kind of separated around similar times and met each other a few months later, to just caring for our kids that have been through these kind of rough changes, work, Amy's been going to school. She's actually just graduated a med lab tech program, passed her board exam, and is getting her first job now in that space.

 

And so, we've been supporting each other through kind of all these different changes and trials in our lives and slowly blending our kids together. So it's pretty busy between that and my work. I work at a large tech company working on kind of cloud and AI infrastructure and capacity space, and that's been very, very busy. And so I had a team of people that had been building up and I was a fairly new manager still and kind of learning how to do that work in that role and so all this kind of came in and caused a lot of change to a lot of those things and kind of added to maybe some you know, hard events we'd already been through.

 

Bri (05:37)

Yeah, you had quite a lot on your plate the last few years. What's your relationship with challenge and uncertainty?

 

Brian (05:45)

Seems to be my life, I guess. Even in my workspace, we kind of talk about, you know, how do you deal with ambiguity? Because there is so much change and often so much you don't know what's gonna happen. And so how do you make sense of ambiguity? And that feels like not just work, but life.

 

I'll say, so about three years ago when previous marriage was, I'll say we were kind of recognizing that there were some challenges we needed to address. And so we worked on that. And while it maybe not went the way we wanted at the time where we decided to separate ultimately, there was a lot of good work that I did myself through some therapy and coaching and some men's programs that I connected with. And read a lot of books. And so in many ways, I probably was in a much better spot and ready, you know, to handle this and these issues than I might've been a few years ago. Cause I, and I still ongoing, I have a pretty large men's group support network that are all men that have done therapy and coaching and, again, educate themselves on how do we show up better as men and spouses, partners, and fathers, et cetera. And so I think that's helped me a lot deal with these other things that have been happening over the last few years.

 

So I highly recommend therapy, coaching, counseling, you know, kind of getting our mind and our, our heart straight and what our goals are and what we're trying to accomplish.

 

Bri (07:10)

You were already on this growth journey, even when you got the news of the diagnosis. So that moment that you got that diagnosis when you got the news, how did that impact this growth that you had been experiencing?

 

Brian (07:28)

At first, I mean, it was literally, I think, hours after I'd kind of come out of surgery and they had the initial quick pathology they did. And the oncologist came in and told me, gave me sort of the rough basic prognosis that most people hear about glioblastoma, which I don't know that was even appropriate honestly at the moment, but it just kind of was a gut punch.

 

Didn't, I don't know, it didn't sink in, didn't settle in, but it didn't, it definitely like just sounded scary. I think the first couple weeks after that, I was more or less in shock. And then there was so much attention between family, friends, my men's group, Amy, kids and everything that, I don't know. It was kind of, I was kind of in a weird state where I had all this attention and I was kind of like, okay, well, this is what it is. And, uh, it took a couple of weeks before it really settled in and then kind of anxiety and depression really started hitting.

 

But I think I was just mad because like, I've done all this. I've already been through these other things, things were kind of looking up and we were, you know, I felt like my trajectory and life was, was pretty good and then this comes in and all of a sudden I don't know what my trajectory is going to be as far as health and time in life and things like that.

 

Bri (08:48)

What did you find most helpful during this time?

 

Brian (08:50)

A lot of people reaching out, a lot of supporting messages. There was just a lot of care shown. I mean, I think what really, I did eventually ask after three or four weeks, I recognized the anxiety and depression piece that was, that I'd never had that like that before. I've had maybe some anxious moments and what I might classify as kind of some small anxiety attacks in my past life, but not very often, not very frequent.

 

And so I, I recognize that and I talked to my doctor for some general anxiety meds that, that eventually started to work and help kind of get me on an even keel. So, I think that was one part that I was kind of surprised that they didn't talk to me earlier about. I kind of had to advocate and bring that up, but they were pretty, it was pretty quick and easy once I brought it up and got that going.

 

And that's something I want to kind of work myself off of over time and depending how things are going because I can I can kind of sense the, the rails that puts up around my emotions. But from where I was at it was very helpful to kind of get me back to that even keel where I could feel more positive and my my general positivity and outlook could start coming back up and I could just kind of stop focusing on all the what-ifs and the dark, you know, the dark options out there and such and so it got me out of that. I'm grateful for that.

 

But long-term I want to use more meditation and other options to kind of work on managing that, so I don't, cause I don't want to, I don't want to limit my emotions. I need to be able to kind of process and be in touch with my emotions on how to handle this.

 

Bri (10:23)

Yeah, that absolutely makes sense. And what… I mean, I imagine it's a whole range, but what would you say are the emotions that you experience most frequently?

 

Brian (10:34)

Uncertainty. It's very strange to want to plan, want to… I mean, I'll just give an example. We were out, you know, I need some… I have an old couch that I brought with me when I separated and could really use some more comfortable furniture at my home. And we're out couch shopping, but I'm like, I got an MRI in a few days and maybe I shouldn't buy this kind of thing right now. Like that's a simple example.

 

Or what do I plan with my kids for next summer vacations? Or what do I do this? And so I think the uncertainty is something that's there very strong right now. I don't have, I mean, I definitely feel a bit of the, just the anxiety of what it all means, so do I just go ahead and take the time and enjoy what I have and not worry about how long or short that might be? But, I think uncertainty is the big part of the struggle and not just uncertainty in life, but like uncertainty in, when this could impact my, my, my mental state, my health.

 

So far, I've been very, very lucky. I have not had any real side effects. Everything's there. You know, the surgery went well. Nothing was impacted. My mental state, my cognition is great, and so health wise, I'm really good. But some of my concerns are what if during a reoccurrence or other treatments down the road that changes and what does that mean? Am I gonna be able to work? What's the function gonna be like? So just a lot of uncertainty.

 

Bri (12:05)

How do you talk about this with your children?

 

Brian (12:07)

My ex and I decided that, I decided like we should be pretty straightforward. I don't think they kind of understood initially how serious it was. I think they understood it was serious, but maybe not quite how serious it was. And for some background, my ex, their mom went through breast cancer in 2017 and so, and was successfully between surgery, basically able to take care of that and it's stayed in remission and not come back and such.

 

So it's not their first experience kind of seeing, having one of their parents with cancer. But after some time, we just need to let, we let them know that it was pretty serious and explain a little bit more about this type of cancer and not that that's what's going to happen but that we want to make sure that we take the opportunities for time that they have the time with me.

 

And so to try to help us all prioritize that a little bit more in the meantime, just because we don't know and we want to make those memories now while we can. So I'm going to try to talk about that plan A is to beat it and live a long, healthy life. And if we get to plan B or C, we'll have to figure out, you know, we'll figure out more of that when it comes along.

 

Bri (13:19)

What a lesson of resilience this is for them too, both yours and their mother as well. What have been some of the unexpected outcomes or things that have come from your diagnosis?

 

Brian (13:33)

The closeness to the people I love. So Amy, again, has just been rock-solid and has been an angel through this process and it's been fantastic. My kids, all of them, how they've showed up. Yeah, they've all been there in different ways when I've needed help. I mean my kids are, so the four boys I have her from ages 11 to 20 and then Amy's daughter is also 20 and her and I have become really good friends and we've done some blended trips now which we hadn't done quite before so this has kind of brought us all closer. They've become much more comfortable. We hadn't quite started really kind of… we still have separate homes, Amy and I, and we live a little far apart so.

 

But now we're, everyone's comfortable being around in the same house and everything like that. So we've been kind of going slowly blending and that kind of sped up very quickly and it's gone very well.

 

All the people that have shown up, all the people that have told me how it impacted them has been pretty incredible. Some people I worked with occasionally didn't know super well and some of the men from my men's group and others that have just come out and said how they were just so shocked and surprised and how it made them rethink kind of their own priorities in their life. So that's been pretty incredible. The impact it's had on others has surprised me.

 

And I'll note one other big impact is that, so my ex Shanda and I, our divorce wasn't terrible, but there was a lot of, just divorce isn't fun for anyone. We kind of did what we needed to do for the kids and and I'd hoped we could co-parent really well and we could have conversations about the kids and stuff and it was just a little bit maybe not that easy to communicate between us. And I'm not perfect I'm not gonna put any blame on her. Like we just both kind of have our, came at it with our different challenges and stuff.

 

But after this happened, in fact I actually had the kids that weekend when things were just getting a little weird for me. Like I didn't even pick up my kids on time on the Friday before I was like just filling out of it. And I explained to her, I was like, Hey, I'll be there shortly. My head hurts and my stomach's not feeling great and lying down. Like after that weekend, after I'd been running around to urgent care all week, all weekend, trying to get it checked out and get some muscle relaxer meds and stuff that weren't working and ran out of gas in my vehicle, which I've never done before. And again, like a bunch of weird decisions I was making and kind of getting lost. And I was losing time at certain points too, where I thought I was someplace for 40 minutes. I was there for like two hours.

 

And so my kids are home and I'm, you know, so it was just kind of a weird weekend. And then Amy took me to the ER on Monday and they found out and she let Shanda know and stuff. Shanda was right there for the kids and stuff.

 

So my ex is actually like, she's, she's even mentioned like, all the pettiness between us has just sort of melted away and she's been super supportive. She was there in my initial recovery when Amy couldn't be there. When Amy needed to go do her, her school program stuff. My ex would come over, which I thought would never happen and just sit in the house and make sure that everything was okay in my immediate recovery. And so that's opened up our co-parenting relationship on how we talk to the kids and how we work with the kids. We've both actually sat with our oldest child who's 20 to kind of work through some things with him and none of that would have happened before, I don't believe. At least not for a long time.

 

I think it's just kind of brought down a lot of barriers for a lot of people. And at least for that one, I'm really grateful because that is really good for our kids.

 

Bri (17:04)

It sounds like you've got an incredible network of support. What did it take to build that up to this point?

 

Brian (17:11)

I felt like I was lucky in that I had already connected with this men's group, and had built a pretty strong network there over the last couple of years. And so as far as… and just Amy being fantastic and then, my family recognizing how they needed to, you know, needed to show up. My parents and siblings and, and others just trying to make time to come out, trying to make time to come up and help any way they could. I had a lot of offers for help from many different people and from Amy's family and many others. So most of it, think that was the most useful parts was a lot of it was kind of the moral support and people being there.

 

The physical support, again, I think my recovery went pretty well. We kind like, cause we went straight from the hospital when I was released to a furniture store and bought a big recliner with, you know, all the buttons and everything and then like a, and like a pad to go underneath my bed that can raise the feet and the legs and stuff like that. Cause it seemed like we all thought I was going to be down for weeks and not hardly able to move and, and need all this help and stuff. But I was probably, I mean, it probably only took me a week or two before I was really up and walking around and, and a few weeks it wasn't. It didn't really impact me too much. The recovery actually went pretty great.

 

So a lot of people offered lots of different help and I did get some different care packages and things from, like, from friends and, and my men's group and, others. And so, that was all just, really helpful to kind of keep my spirits high and, and keep that going.

 

Bri (19:00)

Yeah, yeah. How do you think about your future today?

 

Brian (19:03)

I'm optimistic, which is I think the only thing I can be is I don't want to be too pessimistic. I guess what I'll say is, you know, I'm kind of preparing for the worst. I've got, I have things in line to make sure, you know, my affairs and estate and decisions are kind of in place and in order so that I don't have to worry about that should things change.

 

I'll say I feel pretty privileged and grateful to have the ability that if something were to happen to me fairly quickly, like I'd be able to leave things for my loved ones, my ex to be able to take care of my kids, for Amy, and some things for my kids that they would have at least some of the, they'd have a pretty set, you know, pretty good financial support there. Not a lot extra, but enough to kind of make sure to get them through and on into life.

 

And I recognize the privilege and, and, you know, place I'm able to be at to be able to do that and don't take that for granted. So that helps me feel pretty good about that part. Knowing that ideally… It's one of those hard things, right? Like you don't want to feel like a burden. And so I feel, I feel good about some of those things.

 

And so that lets me focus on how am I fighting this? What do I need to do to beat this and, and make memories and, and, and spend time with loved ones now?

 

So I feel, I feel optimistic about it and I'm gonna try to be that part of that tail end that gets many many years out of life beyond this diagnosis.

 

Bri (20:39)

Yeah, I love that. And that's part of the reason why I wanted to connect with you to share your story, because I often find that a lot of people who receive a diagnosis of a GBM, you know, if you go to your friend or foe, depending on your relationship with Google…

 

Brian (21:02)

Mm-hmm.

 

Bri (21:03)

…there's some pretty scary stuff out there that you can come across and, you know, you're a few months out and the side effects were minimal and you have an optimistic outlook, I think is a story that needs to be shared. I don't, particularly for GBMs, there's not a lot of those kinds of stories out there. So I really appreciate you being willing to share. What gives you hope?

 

Brian (21:28)

Well, you kind of went to the stats and then Google piece. So after a little while, I started looking a little deeper and started saying, okay, well, can I break this down by like age range? Can I break it down by other health factors? And there's a lot of missing data there, but like I then realized like, okay, for my age bracket, it's not, you know, the general stat includes people that are much older, maybe have other health issues at that age when they're diagnosed. And so that gave me a little bit better prognosis. Not that I want to look at the numbers all that much.

 

And then, and then hearing stories from others. So as I'm on these different Facebook groups for brain cancer and, and hearing the stories of people 19 years out with GBM, 10 years out, five years out that are still doing great. So it just goes to show that it, it's not, it's… you can live with it. You can keep it at bay and it's not, it's not a guarantee that it's going to shorten your life span necessarily, but, so that's helped quite a bit.

 

I did want to go back briefly and also just mention part of my other network support group. I realized that I kind of forgot that's helped along the way, including some with cancer experiences is my team at work and my management at work. Um, my company has been fantastic and how they've supported me through this too. I realized I didn't mention that, but everyone there has been fantastic and, reached out and, and been a huge help too.

 

I've found that many of them have had their own experiences between family members and some of them personal and actually have someone who is on my team that went through surgery today for possible cancer concerns and luckily it doesn't seem like it's benign and not cancerous and so not brain cancer but it's just kind of interesting when you bring this up how many people have been impacted either themselves or through family or other friends.

 

Bri (23:17)

Yes, it is definitely a more common experience than I realized before I got my diagnosis, that's for sure. And not just distant, but people in my life who have been in my life since I was a child are like, oh my cousin or my friend or my neighbor. I'm like, what? How? Like, how did I not know about this?

 

Brian (23:36)

Yeah, I looked back and I've had, I actually had two people I knew. One was a coworker from about 10 years ago that, he was diagnosed with GBM right at this like 2020 right before COVID and he was finishing his standard of care. And unfortunately he got COVID before there was anything there for it. And unfortunately that ended up taking him while he was fighting GBM and then another man I knew through church. Didn't know too well, but we were both kind of working with the scouting programs my kids were in and I've worked with Boy Scouts and the church program for a long time when I was there. A few weeks after camp out, I'd gotten to know this guy a little bit, anyways, he and his wife had married a little bit older. They had a beautiful young daughter, three years old. And then one day he, I think he collapsed in the kitchen. A week later he passed.

 

So, those things scared me a little bit thinking about people I had known that actually had glioblastomas and what they went through. So, it was really good to hear the stories from survivors and people that are thriving and doing well on the other side too, because there are a lot of stories on both sides and they both have a different impact on how you look at it.

 

Bri (24:46)

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. How would you say that this experience has rewired your mind?

 

Brian (24:54)

Not to take days for granted, I think is a big thing. Like, what am I doing with my time? And it doesn't mean I have, everything has to be grandiose and doing everything necessarily, but how am I using my time is definitely more precious and important. And so whether that's time with my kids when they're here, like, you what am I doing to try to make memories there in even small ways, right? Just playing board games at home or trying to get him out for the day. All the way to just... 

 

So one thing talking to someone at work who also has cancer and was kind of the idea was don't plan a bunch of trips out, but plan the next trip. Cause you don't know how far out it's gonna go, but plan the next trip, plan the next activity, plan the next thing you wanna do. And so I'm definitely taking that for, taking that advice and trying to look at what is the next thing I can do.

 

While at the same time planning for the long-term, I don't, can't go below all my funds and everything right now, you know, and go do every single thing on my bucket list in the next, you know, six months, but I would like to, but, but, but I want to plan for the long-term, but I'm definitely saying, well, I don't know what it's going to be like, and I should be a little bit more generous right now. Cause I'd rather spend that money on my kids and myself right now. Some of it anyways, make sure there's enough left, but, I'd rather do a few more things now.

 

And I'm again, I recognize the privileged position. I'm able to do some of that and help the people I love now because I get to experience that love and joy too by seeing them happy and myself happy.

 

So I think that's another piece too is before I would do some vacations, but I just had so much work. I didn't plan them often enough. I didn't use my vacation time I had often enough. It just felt like, here's the thing. I'll go do this simple thing. We'll go do this quick thing. I always wanted to do bigger things, but it always felt like there's stuff in the way of like, okay, next year, next year, next year. And so I think that's a big thing is like, you don't know what next year holds. And so what can you do sooner to get that experience and make sure you don't put that off too long because you don't know how much time you have.

 

Bri (27:14)

Right, absolutely, absolutely. I am in the midst of handling a recurrence myself and I have learned how important it is to have something to look forward to. And so I love that advice that your coworker gave of just not a bunch of trips, just plan the next trip. And that's been something that I've used myself as well to have something to look forward to and, you know, something to live for essentially is what it comes down to. Yeah.

 

Brian (27:47)

Yeah, I met with a therapist at the cancer center I got my, where I was getting my standard of care work done out here and we were talking and cause the other thing on my mind again is like not being a burden was like, okay, do I start…

 

I like camping. I like off-roading a bit. I love hiking. I've always loved that kind of stuff. And I've got a bit of, I've got a bunch of stuff related to that. Some kind of expensive stuff. And I was like, do I just start selling that stuff off so I can like limit the amount of stuff that people might have to deal with if I pass and she's like, no, don't. She's like, keep it. Like, don't need to start getting rid of everything. Cause what if you live and you don't, then you don't have 

 

Bri (28:22)

And then you don't have all that stuff.

 

Brian (28:24)

…your joy in your things. 

 

Bri (28:26)

Right? Right.

 

Brian (28:26)

You know, so it's like, so that was good advice to say, just relax. You know, maybe you don't need to go buy a whole lot of other stuff, but maybe not, you know, don't plan like that you're going to go soon. That doesn't help. So just kind of still continue life and, don't go, you have to feel like you've got to be ready to go and make it as easy as possible for everyone, because you could live.

 

Bri (28:46)

Yeah, yeah. Well, Brian, thank you so much for sharing your story and giving your time. I imagine that there are many listeners who resonate with your story, who find connection with you and may want to reach out to you. If that is the case and you're open to it, where can listeners find you?

 

Brian (29:08)

I have a public Instagram that would probably be the best place. I've only provided a little bit of update there on the cancer side, but I'm definitely willing to provide more on Instagram and it's @outside.perception and I can send you that alias if you want to put that in show notes. Happy for anyone to reach out through that channel there and connect and I can share more updates on my journey there along the way as well. So.

 

Bri (29:34)

That's awesome. I will definitely include that in the show notes and will keep in touch as your journey continues. And I would love to hear updates as you progress forward and all that good stuff.

 

Brian (29:48)

Awesome.

 

Bri (29:49)
Thank you for joining me for another episode of Rewired Minds. Full show notes, resources, and a transcript for today’s conversation can be found at rewired-minds.com.

If you or someone you know has a brain tumor story to share, I'd love to hear from you. Whether you’re a patient, survivor, caregiver, family member, or friend, visit rewired-minds.com to learn more about being a guest on a future episode.

This podcast is a one-woman labor of love and it’s an honor to bring it to your ears and connect the brain tumor community. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, review, and share with someone who might need these stories. 5-star reviews and sharing really make a huge difference in keeping this going!

I'm Bri Salsman, and I'll be back next time with another life changing brain tumor story.