In this episode of Rewired Minds, Bri Salsman, a brain tumor survivor, engages in a heartfelt conversation with her sister Christin about their shared journey through diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. They explore the emotional and practical challenges faced during Bri's medical emergencies, the importance of family support, and the evolution of their relationship as they navigate these experiences together. The discussion highlights the significance of communication, understanding, and the different forms of support needed during difficult times, ultimately emphasizing the resilience of their bond.

• Bri's diagnosis was a meningioma, leading to surgery, recovery, and recurrence.

• Christin’s perspective as a caregiver provides valuable insights.

• Distance can impact relationships, but intentional communication helps.

• The importance of having a support system during medical emergencies.

• Bri's memory loss post-surgery created challenges for both sisters.

• The emotional toll of caregiving can be significant.

• Communication is key in understanding each other's experiences.

• Support comes in various forms, not just physical presence.

• The journey of recovery is ongoing and requires adaptability.

 

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Disclaimer

The stories and experiences shared in this podcast are personal accounts from patients, survivors, caregivers, family members and friends affected by brain tumors. This content is for informational and awareness purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation and treatment options. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

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Transcript

Bri (00:00)

The stories and experiences shared in this podcast are personal accounts from patients, survivors, caregivers, family members and friends affected by brain tumors. This content is for informational and awareness purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation and treatment options. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

 

Bri (00:24)

I'm Bri Salsman, a brain tumor survivor and life coach, and you're listening to Rewired Minds, a podcast where we share brain tumor stories that change us. Today's guest is a very special guest. This is my sister, Christin, who has been alongside of me more than anyone else on this journey and knows aspects of my journey even more than I do, which we'll get into in a little bit. But we've really been walking this journey, in a certain sense, hand in hand all along the way. And so I felt it was really, really critical to get her perspective on the situation. And I think it could be really unique for you as listeners to hear how, in contrast to my story, how she experienced everything and the parallels, but also where our experience deviates. And hopefully it might spark conversation between you and your care network and the people who have been supporting you along the way in new and different ways. So welcome, Christin.

 

Christin (01:33)

Thank you. I’m glad to be here.

 

Bri (01:35)

I'm excited to do this. I've been a little nervous about it because I'm not really sure… I mean, obviously, I know what's going to come up, but there's so many things about your experience that we've not ever talked about. And so I'm eager to learn more about your experience and also just be open to whatever comes up.

 

So of course my diagnosis was a meningioma and initially I had surgery. And so that's the context for things. A little bit more context is that you are my older sister. Even prior to this, I would describe as a really close relationship.

 

But I'd love to hear kind of how you would describe what our connection was, what our life was before all of this came about.

 

Christin (02:29)

When all of this happened unexpectedly, you and I were probably the closest we had ever been in our lives. We weren't very close as kids growing up. There was probably more of a push and pull between us. And then in our adult years, once we both got out of college and decided we were gonna be adults about everything, we decided to focus on our relationship and we really have done a lot of work over the years up to that point to be as close as we were and I think that all that work we did unintentionally prepared us for that moment in January of 2017.

 

Bri (03:06)

Yeah, I never really thought about it that way, but that's really true. I definitely agree that I feel like it laid a foundation for what we didn't know was coming.

 

Christin (03:15)

And even this process has made us stronger together as well as exposed things that maybe we hadn't focused on in the past that we probably should have been and has allowed us to navigate those avenues as well.

 

Bri (03:32)

Yeah, I agree. I agree.

 

One of the things that I think is also important to share is that, while we are sitting next to each other recording right now, we don't actually live in the same location. And while we have driven to see one another, it is not a short drive. Most people would take a flight for the distance that's between us.

 

In reflection or hindsight, how did this distance influence our connection or relationship at that time from your perspective?

 

Christin (04:06)

So before diagnosis, we worked really hard. I mean, it's very easy to not think about things or deal with relationships or people when you don't live near each other because your daily life is going on and everything. And so we were very intentional about carving out time whether it be phone calls or even visits. I mean we've been very good at consistent, even after all of this, of you know, we need to be together physically at least multiple times a year. That's one thing I think you and I have always been very conscious about is making the time for the relationship. Regardless of what has happened, I don't think that has changed at all and maybe that's just because we had that time in the beginning that it's just become so ingrained in the way that we interact with each other that it just it is what it is at this point.

 

Bri (05:02)

Yeah and I remember that, from my perspective, there was a very specific conversation that was pivotal in our relationship getting to that point of being intentional.

 

I remember where I was working at the time. So it was somewhere in 2011 to 2013 timeframe, but I don't know exactly when I just remember being associated with that job because just pulled into the parking lot. You had shared, know, I really would like to talk about us. It took me off guard, but also I was very open and excited for the conversation. We really were like, okay, let's align on what we want moving forward. We don't like the way things have gone and not that we were ever hateful. We never had bad blood between us or anything like that. It just, we didn't actively cultivate something. And so it was a pivotal point of, okay, let's like really put some intention behind this. And I don't think I've ever shared with you, but like I think about that conversation a lot and how much courage it took to pick up the phone and call and just address it head on and just be honest and vulnerable about, I want this to be better than what it is and I can't imagine what our connection would look like had you not taken the initiative to have that conversation. So I'm grateful for that.

 

Bri (06:33)

Yeah. Just when you were bringing that up, it reminded me of like what my mindset was at the time and why it made that decision to do that call. Most of our lives up to that point, it was very much like I was taking care of you. And I was constantly, I was the one that had to make sure that you got to school, home from school, all the, I don't want to say mothering, because both of our parents were very involved in our lives, but you know there were gaps that I filled in and I felt responsible for you. And we had come to a point in our lives where I was like I'm tired of feeling responsible for her. I want to walk beside her.

 

Bri (07:14)

Yeah, yeah. To your point, it definitely was not a reflection of them as parents. It was more so we had two working parents active in our lives. And so when we were waking up in the morning, they were going out the door to go to work. And so it was in theory our responsibility to get ourselves dressed and out the door, but ultimately your responsibility. You know, our parents are divorced at a younger age. And so I always leaned on you to know, like, are we going to mom's house or dad's house today? There's so many logistical things and a lot of that did fall on you. But to your point, not because of poor parenting, but because that's just the nature of having two parents who are working.

 

Christin (08:00)

Yeah and I mean like it was even like little things like when we did have to walk home to one parent's home like okay just keep up with me so I know that you get across the street okay. Like I'm going to be killed if I get home and you got hit by a car.

 

Bri (08:16)

But lollygagging is so much fun.

 

Christin (08:19)

Yes I understand. We do have to get home safely. And we have to get home. So yeah. So then I don't know. There was just a certain point when I was starting to realize that like you aren't that little kid dragging your rear end to get home from school. And maybe we had more things we could talk about and connect on.

 

Bri (08:40)

Yeah.

 

Christin (08:41)

And we've been through so much. We've talked about this all the time, like you're the only person that I have shared my entire life with. And it just, why wouldn't you want to connect more with that person?

 

Bri (08:53)

Absolutely, which is interesting because, not only are you out of state, but for me, the whole family is out of state. You know, I've lived in other states even before where I am now. And I had gotten to a point in my life where I've built a pretty independent life for myself. And so when all of these things started coming up, it didn't occur to me to call or lean on or anything because it's just like, oh, it's a migraine. Actually it was a coworker who encouraged me to go to the immediate care center and then the immediate care center said you need to go to the emergency room. And that's the first touch point that I recall having with you is leaving the immediate care center to walk the six blocks to the hospital knowing kind of two different things. One, this feels excessive for a migraine. Just give me a prescription strength medication, knock it out and let's move on. But also, I'm going to the emergency room and someone should probably know that. I wanna ask like, what was it like for you getting that call and what was on the other end of that phone?

 

Christin (10:00)

I don't really have much of a memory of you talking about headaches or your vision issues before that. Like, I don't really remember you ever even like us being on the phone and just being like, I have a headache right now. And I probably if you did that, I wouldn't have thought much of it because it obviously was not something that you consistently complained about. So the phone call for me was unexpected.

 

And when you first, when you called me for the first time, although you were telling me that everything's fine and this is ridiculous, there was panic in your voice that I picked up on. And so of course, obviously I got very nervous and worried and just kind of waited and at some point I had to go to bed and I got a phone call in the early morning hours after, I know it was after midnight. And that's when you said like, they're going to admit me and I think I'm going to have to have surgery. They were still in the process of doing all the scans and everything to figure out. But at that point, I mean, I was up all the lights were on in the house and that's when I made the phone calls. When you called and told me like, they're admitting me and I don't really know what's going on. And, of course at that point, it was very clear that you were under sedation of some kind. You were drifting very quickly and I called dad and you know.

 

Obviously they jumped into action and immediately drove up there. We had actually, I was scheduled to fly to meet them to go skiing. This sounds awful, but it was fortuitous because I already had a plane ticket. So I just flipped it and came to you. And by the time I got to you, dad actually picked me up at the airport and from there on, you're in the hospital.

 

Bri (11:54)

Yeah. I want to go back, you had mentioned, you know, at some point I have to go to sleep and this is part of it that I still remember because it's before I've been even taken back to be seen, let alone admitted and put under sedation and whatever else they did. But I waited in the waiting room for a very long time. And I can't imagine what it's like on your end getting that initial call that I'm going to the hospital, but then there's hours and hours that go by. And to your point, at some point I have to go to bed. That window of time where it's like okay I know she's in the hospital. I can't necessarily get to her, but something is going on. What was happening for you in that hours-long window?

 

Christin (12:40)

I mean, I didn't have any information at that point. So I was pretty okay. I was worrying, but it wasn't like uncontrollable, you know, worry that was just consuming me at that point. So I was like, okay, she's in the emergency room. She says she's okay. We're just going to stand by and see how it goes. If it were more urgent, they would have put her in an ambulance or, you know, someone else would be calling me. So I felt good just by the fact that you were communicating with me, that that meant like there's time if this is something that's an issue.

 

But the phone call in the middle of the night where you were like, they see something, they're going to admit me and from that point forward, I was, I mean, I couldn't get the customer service person on the line fast enough to change my flight. I couldn't get to the airport fast enough. I couldn't get the damn pilot to fly the plane fast enough. You know, I mean, it was like, I could not get to you and your room fast enough. But as soon as I got to you and saw you, I was like, okay, this is all going to be fine.

 

We're just going to do this. I mean, we have no choice. And fortunately, you wound up at one of the best hospitals, if not the best in the area you live in with an amazing doctor. And from that point forward, I felt good about the direction things were going. So I was okay until right before the surgery, which we can get into that later, but I did good, so…

 

Bri (14:23)

Prior to all of this, because I had learned early on in my life that these are good things that everyone should have, that I had a will and a power of attorney and health care on the health care side, but also the financial side. I forget the official legal language for it, but you were responsible for medical decisions, should I become incapacitated. And so you had, you know, I had copy, you had copy. This was done years before this had happened.

 

You know, this is the point where I don't remember anything. I really don't know how involved I was versus you making those decisions on my behalf because of that documentation and that decision that I had made years earlier. We do these documents not thinking that we'll ever need them – certainly not at the age that I was when all of this happened and now all of sudden it's like, oh, I really have to do this. How did that sit with you to be in that place?

 

Christin (15:18)

So before I answer that question, I just want to say that, when you gave me that document, I put it in my safe and that's the first thing I pulled out and I made sure I brought it with me to the hospital so, for your listeners, if you do wind up in that position where someone has asked you to play one of those roles in their life, make sure you have your documentation with you don't rely on the individual who you are playing that role for to bring the documents with them.

 

That’s one thing recently that has been really interesting to think about is, so during that time you were very involved. Like to the point where you were like, no, I'm making this decision.

 

Bri (16:01)

Interesting.

 

Christin (16:02)

Which is fine and wonderful, but now since that time over the years when we've had this discussion, you're like, I didn't remember anything. I'm like, oh, because you were very involved in the entire process. Every single time a doctor or nurse came in, you were asking questions, you were taking notes in your phone, were…

 

Bri (16:22)

Wow.

 

Christin (16:24)

Yeah, and so dad and I, although I was the one that ultimately, you know, had the power to make the decisions, dad and I really had a lot of conversations together about like, you know, should we do this? There was discussion about, you know, possibly kind of slowing things down and getting a second opinion from another doctor, which we did wind up coming to you and talking to you about.

 

In hindsight everything worked out wonderfully and like I've said you were with a great doctor and everything turned out wonderfully but in hindsight You know, I'm just like how would I have known that she wasn't really actually aware of what was going on and this is something I definitely need to be paying attention to if there are future recurrences about figuring out where I'm the one that needs to say, you know what, I'm gonna handle this one. And you just need to sit back in the bed and let them take care of you. So I remember on the last day when you were being discharged, you may not remember this, but you and I got in a little tiff.

 

Bri (17:29)

No, I don't remember this at all.

 

Christin (17:31)

Everyone came in because everyone had to see you before discharge and everyone had instructions on like what you needed to do once you needed to be home. I was the one that stayed after those following weeks to help you through that time period and there was a...

 numerous medications and there was a schedule that you had to be on and so I'm like taking notes and trying to get all this information down and you're like no I'm gonna do that. And you like took the piece of paper and pen from me. I got so mad the nurse even was kind of like, whoa whoa whoa whoa, and I had to get up and like you know walk to the other side of the room and you were very insistent like I am the one that's going to take this information down, and in my mind I'm thinking that I'm the one that is going to be there administering this stuff, you know, so I'm the one that probably actually needs to be absorbing the information and you need to be focusing on recovery, resting, and that is what wound up happening. I mean, you did spend a lot of time resting those following days. 

 

But yeah, you were very involved in your treatment and that's why it's always so surprising when we have these conversations that you don't remember any of that because at the time you were extremely alert with what was going on.

 

Bri (18:51)

Yeah, that's fascinating. And you mentioned, you know, you were doing okay until I got taken for surgery. What happened

 

Christin (19:00)

So they moved you to a floor, I guess it was like a surgical prep floor, which is when they give you your IVs for your, and your medication to start putting you under. And you were only allowed to take two people with you. So you took Dad and myself and we were all fine and everything and then you started going down or the medicine started kicking in and they take you and they start wheeling you out and we got to walk down the hall to the double doors.

 

And as we're walking down that hallway, I just reached over and put my hand on your arm and you looked at me and you said, it's gonna be okay. Like you always do.

 

And I just lost it. And that that was the last thing you said and then you were out. And then they just they kept taking you because we couldn't go through the double doors. And they took you through the double doors. And then Dad and I were just left standing in that hall like knowing what was going to happen in that room that you were so vulnerable, in strangers hands hoping that they really knew what they were supposed to be doing. I mean they they opened your skull and touched your brain. That's a pretty intense surgery. So yeah.

 

Bri (20:20)

I can't imagine standing at those doors. I mean, I'm just like doing like role reversal in my head right now. If it was me standing at those doors, watching them roll you away into that situation, I would lose it too. Like I would be in the fetal position on the floor.

 

Christin (20:36)

I mean, fortunately I had dad and you know, our father is a stoic man, but you know, he was wonderful in that moment.

 

Bri (20:44)

And so you know I'm in surgery and you're waiting again.

 

Christin (10:50)

Yeah, it felt like it took forever, but also at the same time, it's like they were there all of sudden saying, okay, she's in room, blah, blah, blah and you can go and see her. So that was that period was fine. I don't know how to explain it. just am very much like, if I start to have feelings that overwhelm me and there's nothing that I can do about the situation, I'm just very much like, okay, we're just gonna wait it out and we'll deal with it when the outcome comes. Then we'll know, you know, if the worrying and everything is needs to happen or if it's all turns out fine and we can cry happy tears.

 

Bri (21:33)

You're very good at putting things into a container until the lid needs to come off.

 

Christin (21:38)

Yes, I've been told multiple times. Yeah, so and then of course we went and saw you ICU I believe it was.

 

Bri (21:49)

What were those initial thoughts reactions when you saw me for the first time post surgery?

 

Christin (21;55)

So ICU was really hard the first few days. I feel like you were there for two days. We weren't allowed to all be with you. So where previously before surgery, we were all in the room and then in the ICU was one person at a time. So we had to kind of rotate and we were told that you were going to be in a coma, quote unquote. I can't remember if they use that exact verbiage, but you were like completely out for at least a day. And you made noises like moans. It was really interesting because you didn't really respond. But like I remember things like if there was a noise, even if it was above a whisper, you would like groan. Obviously expressing discomfort because it was that was painful for you. I mean your brain is raw at that point, right? So you've got lots of things going off.

 

I remember you looking very again vulnerable and almost infant-like in the way that you were responding. So even though you were in a coma, the responses we did get from you were very like infant-like. And then they slowly brought you out of the coma and it took a while for you to get to a place where you were, you know, Bri again. And of course, at that point is when they moved you into the regular hospital room on the brain floor, for those particular neurological, whatever surgery floor.

 

But yeah, I mean, that was a really hard time also. But also at the same time, I never had any doubt that you weren't going to make it through. I mean, like the doctors told us, like she's actually in a really good place. You know, and this is actually like if you were to get a brain tumor, this is kind of the ideal situation for survival and continued life. So, it was just kind of like, in this moment this really sucks and it's scary and everything but I feel confident she's going to return and everything will be good. Obviously there are things that have changed, but you're here I get to touch you and see you and talk to you.

 

Bri (24:21)

Yeah. So I step down from ICU, I get discharged, I come home. You stay with me initially while I'm recovering and that's when my memory starts to come back. That was really cool to have you there when the memories do start sticking. My last memory is reaching out to you before they admit me to let you know I'm being admitted and my first memory afterwards is also with you back at home being in recovery.

 

I remember in that first year, multiple phone calls when I would reach out to you. Okay, we got to go through this again. Walk me step by step. What happened? Who was there? You know, and, and in real time, I could not figure out why I kept needing to go through this. But it honestly, in hindsight was a very selfish thing because I'm also realizing like I'm you through this over and over and over again. And so while that was a necessary thing for me to make sense out of something that I had no personal memory of, as I have gotten more and more removed from that interaction, I have felt like I wish there was another way that I could have gone through that without putting you back through it over and over and over again, but you were so gracious and patient with me every single time I called. And I don't even know what I was looking for in those conversations, but I'm curious, what was your experience on your end of those calls when I needing you to replay it again and again?

 

Christin (26:06)

I mean, initially it was she needs this for whatever reason. And I just would share the information. But then there was one time we were talking and you had expressed, I forget exactly what you said, but like it was scary for you to not remember.

 

Bri (26:23)

Yeah, it was.

 

Christin (26:24)

You have mentioned you are very independent. You are the only person that takes care of you on a day-to-day basis and you know to have a chunk of your life that you don't remember anything about.

 

Bri (26:40)

And something so significant too.

 

Christin (26: 42)

Well, yeah, I mean, you know like you were literally having to place your life in other people's hands, whether it be me, dad, the doctors. Even though I observed you actively participating in that. In those conversations afterwards, realizing that you were not. And I can understand how you would need to process that and also get to a place where you have to be okay to give up some of that independence and control for a period of time. Even though it's retroactively being okay with it, but I understand how difficult it was for you to realize that there was a period of time where you had none of that.

 

Bri (27:27)

Yeah. It's just a black hole.

 

Christin (27:29)

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know if we're going to get into this, but you know, the second process that you've gone through has been very different. And I think that this second time has been, outsider's perspective, harder for you than the first time. And so I think that there was, it was somewhat of a gift the first time around that you don't remember a lot of it.

 

Bri (27:54)

Yeah, I would agree with that. I think early on I was very aware that my memories of what happened were through other people's perspectives. So, you know, my story is actually the story of those around me, not actually my story. And I think that was part of my struggle is feeling like what's my agency in this when I don't even have my own story about it. But then I did. I mean, you're right. It was a processing thing. And how do I make sense of this so I can move forward from it?

 

And on my end, I feel like going through that recovery and making meaning and making sense out of things, even though retroactively, and the growth that I experienced after that laid some sort of foundation to deal with the recurrence in a way that I don't know that I'd be able to handle the way that I am. You're absolutely right. This is by far way more difficult than the surgery for very different reasons, but I also think that if it had gone in reverse order where I was more aware in the initial phase of this, it would have been way more difficult than what it is now.

 

Christin (29:08)

Yeah. Yeah. And one of the things that continually has to be fascinating to me about it is like you were calling people, you were texting people. I don't know who you were talking to, but clearly they were friends, colleagues, people that are in your life that, you know…

 

Bri (29:26)

While I was in the hospital?

 

Christin (29:28)

Yeah

 

Bri (29:28)

Oh, okay

 

Christin (29:29)

Even from home, I mean, you had visitors. Do you remember having people visit?

 

Bri (29:34)

I remember one person coming, but I believe you told me that they didn't come up. They just stopped in the lobby to drop something off and you met them down there. But this is where it gets fuzzy, is like, I actually have that memory? Or is that a version of a memor because I know that you've clarified that you met that person in the lobby. They didn't actually come up to my unit.

 

But other than that person, I don't remember having any other guests.

 

Christin (30:05)

Yeah, you had at least two, if not three people that came up and like spent an hour here and you held whole conversations with them.

 

Bri (31:15)

Wow.

 

Christin (31:16)

And they were so happy to see you.

 

Bri (31:19)

No idea.

 

Christin (31:20)

Yeah. But that's what I'm saying, like, it's just so fascinating that in the moment, I had a experience of you in a way that was very clearly not what you were experiencing.

 

Bri (31:34)

Well, and you bring up a good point, and this is why I wanted to tell my story this way is because even you as a listener have people in your life that have such a drastically different experience than what your experience is and vice versa. And that's part of my motivation in doing this and not just having patient stories and not talking necessarily so much about the medical stuff, but talking about the experience going through it from all angles, from the patient, the survivor, from the caregiver, from family and friends that maybe were not caregivers, but they're still impacted by it because everyone has their own experience around this. You know, in some ways you and I have talked about a lot, but in other ways there's some aspects of this that we still haven't talked about and I guess you know my maybe Pollyanna perspective about the podcast is that it will open up conversations for other families to have these kinds of conversations and better understand each other's experiences because I feel like that goes such a long way in reducing the frustration that's experienced on each side.

 

Transition Music (31:42)

 

Bri (31:46)

Shall we move to phase two? Fast forward to 2025.

 

Christin (31:55)

Sure.

 

Bri (31:55)

So interestingly enough, it starts off very similarly that I had a, you know, surprise situation and, listeners can go back to my episode where I share my story for details about this, but I abruptly ended up in the hospital again. And this time I did go in an ambulance and so I was taken right in so there's no waiting.

 

Also, what's different about this experience on my end is that I actually do remember, I would say, 90% of it. I couldn't communicate, but I was very aware, trapped in my own body, so to speak. So then you get a call in the middle of the night again. Walk us through what happened from your side of things.

 

Christin (32:41)

So it's like 3:30, 4 o'clock in the morning and I… I don't know how on earth I managed to hear this but the phone was laying on my bedside table vibrating and you know I'm pretty heavy sleeper. And so I picked it up and looked at it and it was an unknown number, but it said Chicago. And of course I can't really see what is going on. It's very blurry but I...

 

I'm like, what the heck? So I turn on the phone and as soon as I answer it, it's just like utter chaos. Like there’s noises everywhere. There's screaming. There's some strange voice saying, is this Christin? Is this Christin? And I'm like, what the heck is going on? And I'm like, yes, yes, this is I don't even remember her name nurse so and so in Chicago and I was like, holy shit. And I just like jumped out of the bed and I immediately like start running downstairs.

 

She's like I'm with Bri. She's in the hospital. She's had some seizures and of course and then you started screaming. You started screaming Christin, Christin, everything's gonna be okay. I just want you to know, I love you. I love you. And you just kept repeating over and over again. I love you. I love you so much.

 

And I just could not figure out what was going on. And so I said, okay, where are you? Can I have the address? And that's when I was like, I was literally running circles around my dining room table trying to think.

 

At the same time like where is pen and paper and I actually still have it was a napkin or something that just had been laying there and I still have it laying there where I have partially written the address and I just I was just frantically like running around the house. And they had evidently given the phone back to you and I was shocked that they just had left the line open and I'm like you know, it's all going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. I'm coming. They're taking care of you. You're where you need to be.

 

And all of a sudden you just you're like Christin, it's all going to be okay. I did not mean to call and panic you and you just completely switched to like, okay, we need to calm the situation down. And in my mind, I'm like, you need to focus you don't worry about whether or not I'm panicking. 

And so eventually I'm just talking to you and you're trying to tell me like what has happened and it was really hard for you to get your words out and then it was deteriorating. So at first you were repeating thoughts, not consecutively, but you were saying something then a different statement would be made and then you go back and say the previous statement. And then it changed to you were repeating sentences, very short sentences and then you would stop saying the whole sentence and then it was words. And then it was just like ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. And all of this is happening really fast and then you start like making these awful sounds. I can't even describe them. Like it wasn't a scream and it was a moan and a scream together and it got quiet around you. Like I could hear beeping and like things moving but I wasn't hearing anybody talking.

 

And so I start yelling, is anybody there? Is anybody there? I think she's going into seizure. Is anybody there to help her? And it took a couple times before someone responded said yes, we're here. We're taking care of her and I said, okay, I I'm on my way.

 

I just kept the phone until they disconnected or you disconnected. So I stayed on the phone as long as they would let me. And I threw some stuff in a bag. In the midst of all of that going on, I have my partner call our father because I'm like, I'm not going to get there until like afternoon, but somebody needs to be there to talk to the doctors.

 

And so I called dad because I know he can get there faster than I can. And of course, I'm nervous because last time this had happened, you were like, you know, I don't want you to tell anyone yet. And I'm like, screw it. I need somebody. And I get in the car and I just start driving. Get on the interstate and I call dad again. And I'm thinking, it's been like 30 minutes. And I say, okay, where are you on the road? And he says, actually I have locked myself out of the house and I didn't get my car keys so I'm trying to get back in the house to get my car keys. So I'm like you're not on the road yet?

 

Bri (37:39)

I did not know that part.