August 26, 2026 | 33 mins

Cassie Sulfridge shares her inspiring journey from diagnosis of primary central nervous system lymphoma at age 28 to becoming a teacher and advocate. She discusses her medical journey, the importance of community, words, and hope in healing, and how her experience has transformed her perspective on life and purpose.

Tumor Type: Primary Central Nervous System Lymphoma
Symptoms: stroke, headaches, left side weakness
Treatment: Surgery, Chemotherapy, Stem Cell Transplant
Survivor
Current Stage: Survivorship
Recurrence

Resources
Most common medical terms relating to the brain tumor experience: rewired-minds.com/terms
Brain tumor organizations: https://www.rewired-minds.com/braintumorresources

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Connect with Cassie Sulfridge
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/789487114408409/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cassulfridge/
Email: cas.sulfridge@gmail.com

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Disclaimer
The stories shared here are personal accounts from the brain tumor community for informational and awareness purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

Bri (00:06)
I'm Bri Salsman, a brain tumor survivor and identity integration coach, and you're listening to Rewired Minds, a podcast that shares brain tumor stories that change us. Sometimes guests use medical terminology, so I've partnered with Northwestern Medicine Malnati Brain Tumor Institute to provide definitions of common terms. You can find the full list in the show notes. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

Bri (00:29)
Cassie Sulfridge was diagnosed in 2013 with primary central nervous system lymphoma, which is a rare form of non Hodgkin lymphoma that for her started in the brain. She was 28 at the time and had just finished a master's in social work. She had a full time job, was married, had a kid, bought a house. She had all the things, but something didn't feel great. And that's when she found out about her diagnosis. Welcome, Cassie. So glad you're here. How are you doing today?

Cassie Sulfridge (00:56)
I'm good. It's it's just stinks it's raining, but that's all right. It's my birthday month, so it's okay.

Bri (01:01)
Oh well happy birthday month. Do you have any exciting plans?

Cassie Sulfridge (01:05)
Not really. I'm gonna be forty one. I feel like forty one is it's not forty, it's not fifty, it's just like, Well, I made it all the way through forty. Nothing fancy.

Bri (01:12)
Yeah, I hear you on that. I had my forty first birthday earlier this year and felt similarly. Like, okay. Birthdays are getting I don't want to say less important, but they seem less exciting the older that I get. They are.

Cassie Sulfridge (01:25)
Yeah, they're like anticlimatic, right?

I wanna go out to dinner and hang out with friends, but I could do that like on a random Tuesday. So

Bri (01:32)
Yeah, it's just another day. Yeah. And I want to do it on a random Tuesday. Like I don't want to wait

Cassie Sulfridge (01:36)
Right.

Bri (01:37)
for special days to do those kinds of things.

Cassie Sulfridge (01:39)
Well, I just saw there was a thing and it was like, you know, the hot girl summer, right? And then it like feral forties summer. And I'm like, Yeah, that's what I wanna have. I just wanna have feral forties summers and…

Bri (01:47)
Feral for that's a new one. I haven't heard that one yet.

Cassie Sulfridge (01:50)
Yeah, I'm just gonna be in my feral forties. Like do what I want.

Bri (01:53)
Oh my gosh, I love it. I love it. Well, let's rewind in time several years back, life was going for you. Like it seemed life

Cassie Sulfridge (02:02)
Yeah.

Bri (02:02)
was going, going really well. What would you add to to what I shared up top?

Cassie Sulfridge (02:08)
I thought life was perf I'm gonna use air quotes like perfect, right? I had a house and I had a kid, I was just graduated. The month before I found I had cancer, I was in Hawaii, but I lived in Alaska, I was like in all this cool stuff. And I don't know, I guess my life was very like synergetic, right? Everything was perfect and but it wasn't like it wasn't.

Bri (02:31)
I love that word, synergetic. That's that no one's used that yet. That's a a really cool way to describe it.

Cassie Sulfridge (02:38)
I guess it's my English teacher in me. I currently teach 10th grade English. and next year I just learned I'm gonna also teaching two ninth grade English classes, so just pray for me on that. Because I feel like ninth graders

Bri (02:47)
Ha ha

Cassie Sulfridge (02:48)
are a little feral and savage as well, but they're not 40, so their self-control is a little less.

Bri (02:53)
I was gonna say is you're gonna have a whole feral classroom, including yourself.

Cassie Sulfridge (02:56)
Yeah. Hahahaha…

Bri (02:58)
That's funny. That's funny. So you had just graduated with a degree in social work. What were you hoping to do with that?

Cassie Sulfridge (03:06)
So I was actually working full time. We lived in Juneau, Alaska at the time. And so I was working full time, but it was like two part-time jobs. I was working at Bartlett Hospital as a case manager and then occasionally I'd help in the mental health unit. And then I worked part-time doing child therapy at Catholic Community Services. Really I had only started working for about two weeks for full time and I had I had a stroke. That's how they discovered my brain tumors.

We lived in Alaska and we'd go hiking at Mendenhall Glacier. It was we could hike it from our backyard. I remember that night we were hiking and he's like, Cassie, you've been drinking? Like, what's going on? And I was like, No, we haven't had dinner yet. Like, And just we giggled. But hindsight's twenty twenty, because that night I woke up with this like splitting headache. And I woke my husband up and I was like, Hey, I think I need some water and I I and I never wake him up, right? Usually I go get by myself. I said, I just don't feel right. And I went to get out of bed and he had gone downstairs and I just heard there was just a thud and he came running upstairs and I was laying on the floor because I could not feel the whole left side of my body. And so like people joke about my life changed like my life literally changed overnight. Like I had

Bri (04:12)
Yeah.

Cassie Sulfridge (04:13)
did not know that I was sick at all, right? I'd go to like open my door and I'm like, man, the handles on this house are low and like, I'm really tired. You know, I'm I'm cooking tacos and man, my left hand, it feels really funny. Like I just I guess I'll use my right hand. I mean, maybe I need to make another margarita. I don't know. I was twenty eight, brain tumor was not the first thing that I had in mind.

Bri (04:36)
It sounds like even though you had the stroke where you collapsed that night, there were some things in hindsight that were happening leading up to that. You just hadn't pieced it all together. Am I hearing that correctly?

Cassie Sulfridge (04:46)
Yeah, yeah, I had zero idea. That week before my son was four and we were doing headstands, right? Like we were practicing doing headstands on the wall. And he was very when he was little, very parkour, right? He liked to jump around and like doing all the things. And so I was like, Do a headstand like this and you go on the wall and kick your feet up and I fell. I just was like, Well, I probably shouldn't do headstands when I'm twenty eight, like that's live and learn. And so again, like all these things that I'm like, this makes sense. Oh my my left side is sore because I was doing headstands with my four year old. Probably shouldn't do that, right?

The weekend before was like my first weekend working at the hospital all by myself, right? Like I was like, I'm a I'm a big girl, right? Like I'm working by myself. I remember it being lunchtime and I was like, gosh, I have this headache. And I just I just got to turn the lights off. And I like crawled up on the floor and took a nap during my my lunch break. I called my husband and he's like, Cassie, you just need to go to the emergency room. And I'm working in the hospital. And I was like, I'm not going to the emergency room. What do I say? I'm tired and I have a headache. No, like I'm fine.

And so my husband, he, and I feel like I've heard this on other podcasts where someone's someone said, like, my husband made me go to the doctor. And I was like, my gosh, I'm not the only one. Cause my husband showed up at my work when I got off and he's like, We're marching into the emergency room and you're gonna tell them you don't feel good.

They said, What hurt? And I Well, my left side, I kind of like, it's kind of my shoulder hurts. And they did a, they did like an x-ray. And they're like, Well, you kind of pulled some muscles. And like, do you think you need an MRI? Did you hit your head? I'm like, I don't need an MRI. Like, I didn't. I I was doing a head stand. I was already on the ground. Like, what do I need an MRI for? And that was literally on Saturday. And then I had my stroke on Thursday night.

So it's like, hm,m, maybe I shouldn't have been so stubborn. I don't know. Would I've had to like go through everything but maybe maybe it wouldn't have, right? Maybe everything happened like it was supposed to. I don't know.

Bri (06:30)
Well, and that's the thing about so many of the brain tumors that we have is the symptoms until we find out what's really going on, sometimes they can feel very disjointed and it's very easy to, you know, write them off. I mean, I know for me, I had migraines for years before I found my brain tumor. But they didn't come super frequently. And when I did have them, I had learned my way of managing them. And I just thought, you know, it migraines are a normal thing. They're not normal that everybody has them, but a significant portion of our population has migraines. This is not a big deal.

And, you know, it wasn't until that migraine that didn't go away that I was like, okay, something else is going on. I think that's more more common in our community that, you know, because our brain controls our entire body, it can show up anywhere and it can feel very disjointed in in a sense. Yeah.

So so the night that you got up in the middle of the night and collapsed to the floor, I mean, what's going through your mind at at that point?

Cassie Sulfridge (07:36)
Well, I was thinking, oh my gosh, I'm having a I'm having a heart attack. So my in my mind, like I come from a family where we had we don't have cancer, but women in my family have like massive heart attacks before they're fifty. And I was like, Well, I'm having it before I turn thirty. I'm having a heart attack, I'm dying right now. It was my left side, it's my my my husband. He came upstairs, he grabbed me. Our house was three stories 'cause it's Alaska, so everything's kind of built up. And so he grabs me, he carries me out to the car, and then he goes to get my son out of bed and we we go down the freeway or freeway. It's not a freeway. It's it's a bypass. Like it's Alaska.

Bri (08:08)
Ha ha ha

Cassie Sulfridge (08:10)
So we go and I remember like kind of looking over at him, going like, gosh, I hope the cops don't give him a ticket now. He was going like ninety, ninety something. And I remember looking over and trying to tell him to slow down, but I couldn't speak. Like my words were completely slurred. And he's like, Cassie, you're having a stroke, stop talking.

In my mind I was thinking, no, I'm not, I'm not having a stroke, I'm having a heart attack. Like this is what's happening to me.

We get to the hospital and he goes in and says, Hey, my wife is having a stroke, and I'm I'm trying to argue with him in my head, but nothing's coming out right logically. And the nurses, I remember them coming and they're like, oh my gosh, you're having a stroke, we're gonna get you on like all the medicines. And he goes, Told you. Like he knew he knew what was going on.

So we go back and I remember just being hooked up on to everything. And and I mean before this, I've always been like really healthy. And so this was all shocking. I've never had so many, like, I didn't know there were so many tests that you could have in medicine. Like I worked in the hospital and I knew they happened to people, but I didn't know they happened to one person, right? I didn't realize that that was even possible.

Juneau had the biggest hospital in the area, but they didn't have like a neurologist, right? And so I remember being like put up to a machine and like kind of like this big eyeball, like with a person on the other end kind of talking to me and just…

It's kind of s shattered, right? And now like hindsight, right? This is I'm I'm 13 years out, right? This has been a long time. I don't know how the people you've had on here can talk about stuff like within a year, I'm like, I'm still processing. Like I'm still like I'm still recovering from everything. So I have mad respect for them. But I remember just trying to take this all in and they said, Well, we've we've found something like this this doesn't look like a a stroke. Like we they treated everything like a stroke. This is nonvascular, like there's no blood and so we we need to do some more testing. And then that's when they found they found a tumor, a golf ball sized tumor in my parietal lobe, in my right parietal lobe. And so I remember they put me on like steroids and that really helped a lot. And then I was in the ICU, which was really weird because I worked there. So it's just really bizarre to be on the other end of the hospital. It was just kind of weird to to be the receiver instead of the giver of help.

Bri (10:24)
Yeah, how was that shift for you?

Cassie Sulfridge (10:26)
It was hard. It was really hard.

Bri (10:28)
What was difficult about it?

Cassie Sulfridge (10:30)
I think just having to sit still. Like being still is not a strong suit of mine. I'm a busybody and I'm I think I'm a helper. Probably to too much sometimes, but just receiving it knowing that I like I I I couldn't get out of bed. Like I really was was bedridden and to go from literally hiking at a glacier the day before to not being able to walk was awful.

Bri (11:00)
Have you been wanting to share your story? Wherever you are in your journey and whatever your relationship is to the brain tumor community, I'm looking for more guests for future episodes. Check out rewired-minds.com/guest to share your interest. Your story really truly matters, and I want to help you share it.

Bri (11:23)
And so you find out that you've got this mass. What kind is is it surgery? Is that what comes next, I imagine?

Cassie Sulfridge (11:30)
Yeah. Yep. And so we were in Alaska. So we had to be, I was in the ICU and they had to like and this was the social worker in Alaska, you they had to book my flight. They had to get me a flight from Alaska to Seattle. They could fly me down just with like, you know, all the medical people, but I really I had a husband and a son and I'm like, I don't I don't want to do that.

So they said, okay, well, if we can stabilize you, we will let you fly on Alaska Airlines, but you have to fly straight there, straight to Seattle. And then you have an appointment. We've set you up with an appointment at Virginia Mason, like the next day. What we call my strokeiversary is July eleventh. So I had that's when I had my stroke and then my brain surgery was on July eighteenth. So within that like one week, I had I was in the ICU in Alaska and then had testing in Seattle and then I had my brain surgery. Like this all happened like really, really fast.

Bri (12:27)
Yeah. And this the hospital in Seattle, is this a partnership that the Juneau hospital has already, or did you choose this

Cassie Sulfridge (12:35)
Yeah.

Bri (12:35)
hospital? How was that decision made?

Cassie Sulfridge (12:38)
I don't honestly, I think that they did partner with Virginia Mason, but it was so quick, it was like, okay, we who's the best neurosurgeon that we could find in Seattle. Within within a week, I mean, I had surgery and the next day Dr. came in and said, well, we think we have CNS lymphoma. So we're gonna spend, you know, the next week. I had all the tests done, cat scan, pet scan, I don't know, dog scan. I don't I don't know what every scan

Bri (13:04)
Ha

Cassie Sulfridge (13:05)
done and they confirmed that it was central nervous system lymphoma.

And the crazy thing was, I mean, I've been so healthy and with the Coast Guard, I mean, I had my physical for the Coast Guard just in June of that month around it's usually around your birthday. So I had just had blood work done and nothing showed up.

Bri (13:21)
One of the things that you shared with me ahead of time too is that, you're you're in this in-between in a certain sense. You share that the brain tumor community doesn't fully understand your diagnosis, but also the lymphoma community didn't understand it either. What is it that

Cassie Sulfridge (13:37)
Yes.

Bri (13:39)
you feel that each side doesn't quite understand?

Cassie Sulfridge (13:43)
Well, I felt like so I was like, okay, well and times have changed. It's crazy to think how social media has changed in just thirteen years. But thirteen years ago, when I was looking up central nervous lymphoma, I was like, Okay, I found these like Facebook groups. And I like, okay, I have lymphoma. And people were it was kind of scary. People like, you have a brain tumor? That's like that's not lymphoma. Well, yes, it is. It's central nervous system lymphoma. And then I'd go to the brain tumor communities and it was like, well, you have lymphoma. But it's like, but I have a brain tumor.

So I felt like I didn't fit anywhere. Like it was just kind of this weird thing because like when it came to comes to lymphomas, it's kind of a it's a really bad lymphoma, right? Things in your brain are not really the best ones to have, right? And then when it came to brain tumors, it's like, well, it's not a it's not brain cancer, it's a lymphoma. So it was just this weird dynamic. And so I ended up starting my own little Facebook group, which now has grown to like a thousands thousands of people, which is crazy because it's it's such a weird cancer. Like it's just such a w it's very uncommon.

Bri (14:47)
I love that you kind of forged your own path instead of letting people say, You don't fit here, you don't fit here, and then just, you know, moving on without any support. I I think that's maybe sometimes the easier path is just say, Okay, whatever, moving on. But recognizing that y you certainly are not the only one out there probably experiencing these same things and that you created that space for others who are probably experiencing similar I I don't know. I the word exclusion keeps coming to mind, although I recognize that people probably didn't intentionally exclude

Cassie Sulfridge (15:23)
Right. Yeah.

Bri (15:23)
you. It's just the nature of trying to find connection and understand things that we can't it it's hard to understand, right? So I I'm really sorry that you didn't find connection in these communities. And also I'm really impressed that you decided, you know what, I'm just gonna build my own. That's amazing.

Cassie Sulfridge (15:42)
No one was mean about it, right? Like, and I'm glad you see here that because no one was mean. It was just, but I couldn't really bond with, you know, and it's not like I really want to bond over cancer, but once you get it, it's kind of like a car, right? I feel like once I got a brain tumor, I realized, there's a lot of brain tumors in the world, right? I got a new pathfinder. I'm like, everyone has a pathfinder. It's not really something you want to see, but you end up seeing, wow, it's everywhere. And

Bri (16:04)
Right.

Cassie Sulfridge (16:05)
I did, I met this woman. She worked in the medical profession. She was just someone I really went to with wisdom over central nervous system lymphoma. And she's actually in that group with me and she helps monitor the group. She does a lot. She's retired.

Because now I work as a teacher. I really can't monitor and be in that group as much as I want because I'm I'm working, right? And so it's summer so I get to, but the rest of the nine months of the year, I can't I can't be in there as much as I'd like to.

Bri (16:29)
You mentioned you're a teacher now, so was that part of your journey as a shift in careers and is that a response to your diagnosis and everything that's come since then or something separate?

Cassie Sulfridge (16:42)
A hundred percent. so I had my my diagnosis, I had craniotomy, right? I went through chemo, hallelujah, New Year's Eve, I thought I was good, we went back to Alaska. And then my first checkup, I had a recurrence. So then they found another lesion in my cerebellum. And so I ended up having a stem a stem cell transplant in September of two thousand fourteen. And Lord willing, I've been healed since then.

But I had my stem cell transplant the day before my son started kindergarten. And I really was like, I miss I feel like I missed so much of his time. Because I was in the hospital so much. I volunteered a lot once I got well enough after the transplant to like be at school. And his principal was like, Cassie, why don't you just work here? And I was like, I'm not a teacher, I'm a social worker. Like, I'm gonna get back into social worker. She's like, you're you're good with the kids. It's kind of the same. I'm like, no, it's not. It's the same. Right. Like really. I ended

Bri (17:35)
Ha ha

Cassie Sulfridge (17:36)
up getting in, I started subbing and then I started working there full time. And really teaching and social work are really the same. I realized I'm doing the same thing, just a different hat. And I ended up in two thousand and twenty four. I ended up graduating, I got a master's in teaching. And so

Bri (17:53)
Congrats.

Cassie Sulfridge (17:54)
people like to be like, I had a brain tumor. I'm like, no, don't let a tumor stop you. Our brains are so pliable and so flexible that we can still learn. Like there's just so much that we can do.

Yeah, so my brain tumor kind of got me thinking, like, I wanna be around my son. My son's gonna be a senior this year, which is crazy. And I work at the same school as him. So I still get to be around him, but I don't have to teach him, which is probably a good thing.

Bri (18:21)
Probably for both of you, maybe.

Cassie Sulfridge (18:24)
For sure. Like I get to see him enough that he's like, Hey mom, I need a snack. What's in your drawer? Right? And then

Bri (18:29)
Ha ha.

Cassie Sulfridge (18:29)
enough that like he's like, Don't talk to me, right? So

Bri (18:32)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can we can talk in the space of your of your classroom, but don't look at me in the hallways.

Cassie Sulfridge (18:37)
Yeah, don't make eye contact with me. I don't even know you.

Bri (18:37)
That's so funny.

Cassie Sulfridge (18:38)
And that was honestly when I went to high school, that was a conversation we had. I'm like, well, they've offered a job. I kind of want to work there, but how would you feel? And he's like, mom, I like you most of the time. It's okay. You can work at my school. But if I don't want to talk to you, don't look at me.

Bri (18:53)
It sounds like you all have a pretty close relationship. How has that evolved parallel to your diagnosis and treatment and ongoing journey with this?

Cassie Sulfridge (19:04)
I feel like it's kind of what my son knows. He was four, right, when I got sick. And he was like, Well, what's cancer? Kind of explained it to him, like, Well, it's kind of like a flu, right? He knew some people die from the flu, some people heal, you just never know.

And he just knew, like, man, my mom, why did you go bald? Like he was reading a Bible story and he learned like Samson had hair and made him strong. And he's like, oh mom, can you not pick me up anymore because you're bald?

I said, no, because you're five years old and you weigh like 50 pounds. Like, I'm not gonna carry you.

I think it it kind of had to make him resilient. Like he he kind of had to just like learn learn what illness was at a young age. And it's kind of been cute as he's grown up. He was gosh, like third grade or so. And someone was like, my grandpa has cancer. He said something, he's like, my mom had it, he'll be fine, right? He he kinda had this like blissful ignorance, right? He saw mom go through some really hard stuff and then be she's fine.

Bri (20:03)
Yeah, what has been the lasting impact of of your diagnosis and treatment?

Cassie Sulfridge (20:08)
I think just knowing that we all have a purpose, right? I feel like I'm still here, so there's something I'm supposed to be doing on this earth and I feel like that's just been kind of what's kinda changed my perspective in life 'cause I I'm an anxious little person, right? Like I gotta do everything, got everything's gotta be perfect. And I realized like once you have cancer, nothing has to be perfect. It's all gonna be okay. Like, if you're here, you gotta purpose. You can slow down.

Bri (20:35)
What helps you slow down?

Cassie Sulfridge (20:37)
I think just thinking about the roses. I mean the silly saying, stop and smell the roses. I like to stop and look at the bugs on the roses. Like I like to look at the bugs on the flower and just being able to slow down and be like, you know what? Nothing is as bad as as having cancer and having to deal with being at the doctor's all the time. Like we get to get up and move and walk and being able bodied and then being like in a wheelchair and you can't walk yourself and realizing that there's there's kind of a a mystery in life. And we get to just all grow from our experiences.

Bri (21:11)
Hmm. And what does your relationship with your diagnosis look like today?

Cassie Sulfridge (21:16)
Like honestly, I'm still I feel like recovering from it. I think that's the beautiful thing about being a teacher is I get the summers to kind of process it all, it's a love hate. Like I hated having it, but I love the positive impact it's had on my life, which sounds weird, but…

Bri (21:31)
Not at all, not at all. I think that's really common in our community. What what do you see as the positive impact?

Cassie Sulfridge (21:37)
Well, for one, it changed my relationship with my husband. I feel like it made our relationship stronger. It made me have faith. I believed in God and something greater than myself. It made me really appreciate my son and my family, even my extended family. It brought me closer with my parents. And I just I don't wish it upon anyone, but I'm grateful it happened to me.

Bri (22:01)
What's different about your life now than what it looked like before? Maybe what's important now that maybe wasn't as important before, or vice versa?

Cassie Sulfridge (22:10)
I think simplicity. Like I don't feel like I need to strive as much. My husband was still active duty, so once my cancer, our family moved to Seattle. We had to go through treatment, so we were stationed there for four years. And so our time in Seattle was kind of special because that's where I healed, but then it was 2018 and we moved to LA. And then 2019, we moved to Mississippi, then 2020. Well, we all know the world shut down, but then I moved to DC. And then twenty-one, I moved to Oregon. And then twenty-three, we retired in Tennessee.

Bri (22:44)
You all have been all over.

Cassie Sulfridge (22:47)
Yes. So I feel like I needed to be where I needed to be when I got sick. And then I've just been go, go, go. So I feel like it wasn't until my husband nearly retired that I got to process I was like, my gosh, I've had a really crazy life. Like this is a crazy ride.

But I feel like that's been the good thing about teaching is I get to now I can finally process I feel like I've been really processing it the last few years. It's like cancer's a thing that happened to me and I kind of separated from it. And I've learned that I can't separate myself from who I am.

Bri (23:16)
What the aspects that you're processing?

Cassie Sulfridge (23:19)
I think it was kind of going back to the whole, am I do I have lymphoma or do I have a have brain cancer, right? Like that, not knowing who I was. And I feel like processing it has helped me become confident in who I am and being able to speak up for for cancer survivors and people that have illnesses. because I feel like I've had a very unique experience.

Cancers don't always happen to younger people, right? And I was twenty eight and and seeing like my oncologist would call me his pediatric patient because he said, Cassie, I don't I've never had anyone your age with this. Like they're usually seventy year old men. You are neither of those things. And I feel like it's helped give me a unique voice to help people, especially students. I started working in special education first, coming from working, doing child therapy. And I think that having a unique background helped me connect better to my students. I think that's really helped me a lot.

Bri (24:19)
Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. With all the conversations and work that I've done in the brain tumor community, everybody's on their own timeline, their own process, but there does seem to be similar phases, so to speak. Like right in the very beginning, we're so in it that we're just trying to keep our head above the water and making sense out of anything is almost impossible.

And then, you get past treatment and sometimes it's immediately after treatment for other people it still takes a little while but that second phase is what happened? Like holy crap, that was a lot. Let me just understand the what.

Phase three, if you will, is how did that happen? How did I survive? How did I make it through. How did I keep putting one foot in front of the other?

And then it it the fourth phase seems like, okay, now what do I do with all of this? And I think that seems to be where sometimes advocacy work comes into play. And I use that word really carefully because I think sometimes we can think that advocacy means that we have to go for policy change or speak on a big stage in front of a bunch of people or things like that. But advocacy is in our appointments with our medical team. It's in conversations with our family and friends. It's jumping on a podcast and sharing your story. All of that is advocacy too. Like I said, everybody's timeline is different, but the phases seem to be very similar.

Cassie Sulfridge (25:50)
Well, and something I noticed, when I was getting my masters, I helped with like policy with the Coast Guard changing like there was sexual assault victim and getting it changed to like sexual assault survivor. So I've I've kind of had like a a heart for things like this and something I've been thinking about is survivor's guilt, right? People talk about survivor's guilt. And I really don't like the word guilt. Like I feel like some somewhere in my road in my life, I want it to be changed more like survivors' humility, like realizing like we have a purpose. Like we survived this for a reason. And there's something greater for all of it.

Bri (26:23)
I love that. What what does survivor's humility look like for you?

Cassie Sulfridge (26:27)
To me, it just recognizes like, yes, I'm here and someone else with the same disease as me might not be. And it's not because I'm a better person. Cancer doesn't choose, right? It affects rich, it affects poor, it affects young, it affects old. But I think when we think of guilt, it's like yucky and shameful. And I'm Christian and I don't think like we're not called to be filled yucky, guilt and shame, right? Like we are we are here for a purpose. And I feel like humility is seeing like, hey, I'm here, but it is not because of my own doing. It's something greater than myself. The world, God, the universe, whatever it is, but for a reason, we're still here. We've been placed in just the right things to get what we needed at the time. And we we shouldn't feel guilt about that. Like we should feel special and loved because we're still here.

Bri (27:17)
That's really interesting and I really appreciate you bringing that up. I think words are so powerful in so many different ways. And I myself have struggled with for lack of a better way to put it, how do I label myself? And it and not because I feel like I need a label, but you know, it's it's easier when you have a word or a phrase to use when people ask about it than going down the long rabbit hole of your whole story.

Cassie Sulfridge (27:45)
Yes.

Bri (27:45)
I struggle with it because I vacillate between survivor and patient.

Cassie Sulfridge (27:51)
Mm-hmm.

Bri (27:51)
You know, I I was a patient and I got through that phase and I but I still didn't feel like a survivor because I was in wait and watch and it could come back at any time. And then there was regrowth. And so then I was definitely clearly back in patient mode and I'm technically, you know, finished radiation, but I'm still seeing a lot of doctors for various things going on related to my tumor. And so I don't feel like survivor either. And, you know, I know some people have used the word thriver. And I definitely feel like I'm thriving in life. I don't know that I'm thriving in my health. And warrior has never felt like a right word for me because that for me brings up things about going to battle and, for me, that just sounds so exhausting. I don't need any more exhaustion. I'm already exhausted without

Cassie Sulfridge (28:36)
Fair enough.

Bri (28:37)
that. So anyway, I'm rambling, but all of that to say, like I think about this a lot. Language is powerful and it can it can be used in a lot of different ways. And and I've really struggled to find a word or a phrase that helps me feel empowered about my experience and feel like I

have agency and ownership over it. It feels like very much in other people's hands. And I I wonder if that's if you've had any of that in your experience as you're talking about reframing survivor's guilt into survivor's humility.

Cassie Sulfridge (29:11)
Oh yes, I am always thinking about words all the time because I feel like like you just said, like words, they are so impactful. And like when we say a word, we see a word, we speak a word, like we we're putting it out in the world and it's it's impacting us, right? And I just feel like the language of of cancer is so negative, right? It's so many negative connotations, just like people like the C word, you know, cancer's the C word.

And I just there's something beautiful about being being alive still after having it. Like I feel like when I've spoken to people, most people I meet are like, Wow, my life has changed because of cancer. I mean, sometimes it's harder in certain ways, but there's still a light somewhere in all of it for everybody.

Bri (29:58)
Absolutely. What's your light?

Cassie Sulfridge (30:01)
I think my light is hope. Like I just have hope in a future. I have hope because of what I've been through with cancer. There's just hope for the world because I'm far from a perfect person. I'm far from a lot of things, but I have hope.

Bri (30:15)
What do you hope for?

Cassie Sulfridge (30:17)
I just hope to hold grandbabies one day. I hope to see my son get married. I mean, because I was at a point where I was like, am I even gonna see him graduate kindergarten? So I hope to see him graduate of high school in 2027, right here, here very shortly. I just I hope for peace in our world. That sounds so cliche, but like I just hope for I hope for a cure for cancer. I hope for cure for brain tumors and more understanding for brain tumors and like I hope to get answers.

Bri (30:48)
I think that will resonate with everyone. I think everybody wants answers in in their journey, no matter what their diagnosis is, no matter what their treatment plan is, no matter where they are in their journey. Hope and answers can go hand in hand very easily for sure.

Cassie, how has all of this rewired your mind?

Cassie Sulfridge (31:06)
I feel like it's rewired my mind to be considerate of others and know that my world's not the only world going on. Even momentarily. Like I might feel like it's all about me, but there's so much more out there. It's just rewired my mind to to love everybody. Like everybody's got a story.

Bri (31:25)
Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more. Thank you so much for for joining me and sharing your story. I appreciate the the different perspective that you shared and and particularly that that space in between of trying to find where you fit and then making your own space. I love that. If people want to connect and learn more, where can they find you?

Cassie Sulfridge (31:49)
I have Facebook and Instagram. It's just Cassie Sulfridge. Cass dot Sulfridge. And I have just email, cass dot sulfridge at gmail dot com.

Bri (32:18)
Awesome. Well I will include all of those in the show notes for listeners who want to get in touch and I appreciate you joining me.

Cassie Sulfridge (32:25)
Yeah, well and if anybody ends up with central nervous lymphoma, it's just on Facebook there's a group, Central Nervous Lymphoma, Friendship and Survivors Group. So that's my little group on there.

Bri (32:36)
Awesome, I'll include that one too. Thanks, Cassie.

Cassie Sulfridge (32:39)
Yeah, thank you.

Bri (32:46)
Thank you for being part of the Rewired Minds community. Full show notes, resources, and a transcript for today's conversation can be found at rewired-minds.com. If you or someone you know has a brain tumor story to share, I'd love to hear from you. Visit rewired-minds.com to learn more about collaborating on a future episode. This podcast is a one woman labor of love. It's a true honor to bring it to your ears and facilitate connection among the brain tumor community. If this episode resonated with you, please rate, review, and share with someone who might need to hear it.

Bri (33:18)
The stories shared in this podcast are personal accounts from the brain tumor community for informational and awareness purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation.