Ep 16 | March 18, 2026 | 32 mins

Mike Hawkins was diagnosed with a benign pituitary adenoma in 2009 after a routine eye appointment led to a same-day MRI and a life-changing weekend of waiting and uncertainty. What followed was a 17-year journey through four surgeries, two rounds of radiation, a stretch of 13 years thinking he was in the clear, and a gutting recurrence that brought everything flooding back. Now preparing for his first craniotomy, Mike opens up about protecting his four daughters from the fear, struggling with the unknown, and why facts and knowledge have always been his greatest source of comfort. His story is a powerful reminder that "benign" does not mean simple, and that finding the right surgeon makes all the difference.
Vision changes were Mike's only symptom, both at diagnosis and at recurrence 13 years later
The hardest part was the waiting and the unknown
Asking a surgeon how many times they have performed your specific procedure is one of the most important questions you can ask
Radiation is not always the right first step and getting a second opinion early can change your entire treatment path
Protecting loved ones from worry is a valid choice, and there is no single right way to talk to family during a health crisis
Benign doesn’t mean easy to treat or guaranteed to stay gone
Regular follow-up MRIs are important even when you feel fine
Having confidence in your medical team is something you can build through research and honest conversations with your doctor

Resources
Check out a list of the most common medical terms relating to the brain tumor experience: rewired-minds.com/terms
Connect with brain tumor organizations here: https://www.rewired-minds.com/braintumorresources

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Disclaimer
The stories shared here are personal accounts from the brain tumor community for informational and awareness purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

Transcript
Bri (00:06)
I'm Bri Salsman, a brain tumor survivor and identity integration coach, and you're listening to Rewired Minds, a podcast that shares brain tumor stories that change us. Sometimes guests use medical terminology, so I've partnered with Northwestern Medicine Malnati Brain Tumor Institute to provide definitions of common terms. You can find the full list in the show notes. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you listen and process.

Bri (00:30)
Today's guest, Mike Hawkins, was diagnosed with a benign pituitary adenoma in 2009 at the age of 45. And as we'll learn, he has had a series of recurrences, follow-up treatment, and ongoing reckoning with his tumor. In fact, he's preparing for a craniotomy just 10 days from now.

His story is somehow unique and very relatable all at the same time. I am so grateful he's willing to share it with you. Welcome, Mike. How are you today?

Mike (00:58)
I'm doing well, thank you.

Bri (00:59)
Got a lot on your mind, I would imagine, with a surgery in 10 days.

Mike (01:03)
Absolutely, just found out the actual surgery schedule date today.

Bri (01:07)
Yeah, wow. So you're really in it right now.

Mike (01:11)
Yes, living it. Living the dream as I say, right?

Bri (01:14)
I suppose this is maybe one version of a dream. It's all perspective, you know?

Well, of course there's a journey to get to today, right? So I'd love to kind of start at the beginning. What did your life look like when you first found out about this tumor?

Mike (01:31)
I was living just a normal life. I mean, day to day, I was married, had four daughters, had a nice home, we were happy, we did things.

Bri (01:41)
How old were your daughters at this time?

Mike (01:43)
Oh gosh, you gonna make me do math, aren't you?

Bri (01:45)
Put you on the spot.

Mike (01:48)
You did. Let's see, it was 2009. So 19, 15, 14, [inaudible] 11, so she was eight.

Bri (01:58)
19, 15, 14, and eight. These are very pivotal developmental points in their lifetime. You're about to get this news. Of course, you don't know what's coming. But just to have that context as we continue our conversation is helpful, I think, to kind of paint that picture.

Mike (02:15)
I noticed that my vision was not as well as it had been previously. So I went to see, made an appointment with an eye doctor. Went in, he ran the tests and did all the little lens things, better, worse, better, worse, better, worse, like 400 times it felt like. And then he said, “there's something else going on because none of the lens options that are available can increase or correct the vision problems that you're having, so I need to make an appointment with you for an ophthalmologist. He's a friend of mine. I can get you an appointment this afternoon. I think you should go see him today.”

Bri (02:55)
Wow, that's really fast. Wow. And did you go that same day?

Mike (02:59)
Yes, I a Friday morning and he got me an appointment for like early afternoon and I went down and saw my ophthalmologist. He random tests and specifically a field vision test and noticed that I peripheral vision loss and his concerns were a couple of things. One was possibly a tumor or MS, you know, and it was a lot.

It’s been a load from, you know, nine o'clock in the morning thinking you’re going to get a pair of glasses till one o'clock in the afternoon. Ophthalmologist telling you that you could have MS or a brain tumor, you know, it's kind of crazy.

And he said, “I'm aware of an imaging center that I can get you an MRI, a brain scan today. And I'm like, you know, it's kind of freaking out. You want me to have a brain scan today?

Next thing I know, I'm laying in a tube, being scanned.

Bri (03:53)
Those wonderful MRI sounds.

Mike (03:56)
Yeah.

Bri (03:56)
We are all familiar with those.

Mike (3:58)
And that was the first one I had ever had in my life for any reasons and just to make it even better, it was an MRI with and without contrast and the technician missed my vein with the contrast and you talk about a hot burning feeling. You're on fire.

As you well know, technology's come a long way. This was 2009. When I saw my scans, they were still on black and white films. You know, so they had to, you know, take them and read them and print them. And I had to pick them up and they put them on a CD and they gave me some printed copies.

I was cleaning out closets and stuff like three months ago and I came across the envelopes with those in there and I threw them away.

Bri (04:44)
No way.

Mike (04:46)
I had lots of them because from 2009, as we'll get into, through 2012, I had three resections. So I had like piles of these films. So I thought, done with this thing. I don't need this crap anymore. I just I threw it all away. I mean, just literally about three months ago.

Bri (05:02)
Wow, and talk about foreshadowing. I don't want to put the cart before the horse, but more to come on that front. So you've got the MRI and where are you taking these images to?

Mike (05:06)
Ha.

Mike (05:12)
This is the tough part about it. This happened on a Friday, you know, all three of these things, the optometrist, the ophthalmologist, the MRI, and they sent me home. And for the weekend, with no information.

Bri (05:27)
That sounds brutal. Just to sit. How was that weekend for you?

Mike (05:30)
I'm dying. Even the Internet at that time wasn't as populated or whatever the right word is with information, obviously then as it is now. So I try to, I try to remember some of the keywords that I heard and I try to look things up and everything I look up is not good. So, it was the longest, probably the longest, most treacherous weekend in my life.

Bri (05:54)
I can't imagine getting news like that. I mean, I can't even say news because really you haven't gotten any news other than speculation of it could be this, it could be this, it could be this, but none of it sounds good. And now just go home and we'll call you at some point.

Mike (06:07)
As it's been through this entire process for me, the worst part of anything I've gone through is the unknown. Once I've been able to get a grasp on the reality, the facts, what's happening, I know that, I realized that anything can happen. When there's no information, that's the part that's hard.

And I literally had nothing and I had to wait till like Tuesday, the following Tuesday. The radiologists couldn't read the scans until Monday. I had to go pick up the films and the CD and take them to my ophthalmologist for him to throw up on the screen on the wall and tell me, you know, tell me what he saw.

Bri (06:49)
How much do you recall about that conversation?

Mike (06:51)
All I remember was he like left the room and came back because he went and called his colleague and said, can you see my this afternoon about these scans.

So once again, just like the Friday before, I go to see one doctor only to get, you know, immediately rushed to a follow-up doctor. Now it's from ophthalmologist to neurosurgeon.

So here we are. We packed up our films and went to see the neurosurgeon.

Bri (07:23)
At what point do you start getting clarity about what really is going on and what the next steps are?

Mike (07:28)
At that point, I didn't know anything I'm saying right now. All these words I'm saying, I never heard the word transsphenoidal in my life. But I go, walk into the surgeon and he puts it up there and he starts pointing at this, this white mass. It was about the size of a golf. I think your pituitary gland is about the size of a pea and the mass that had consumed was about the size of a golf ball.

But what's problematic about, I guess, pituitary tumors is the location.

Bri (07:58)
Right.

Mike (07:58)
It's under the brain. It’s literally in the middle of your head, left to right, top to bottom, side to side. I mean, it's right smack dab in the middle. And it was rather large. And it's also located right underneath what's called your optic chiasm, which is where the optic nerves cross from the back of your eye to each lobe of the brain that they go to. I'm learning all kinds of fancy words, the optic chiasm which was causing blurred vision.

Bri (08:27)
Yeah, that space right there you use this word really poignantly. This junction is really what it is.

Mike (08:34)
I found out there's a lot of stuff right there.

Bri (08:36)
There is.

Mike (08:36)
There’s multiple arteries that feed different parts of the brain and each one services… It's like a pipeline. Your body's, it's mechanical. I mean, it's amazing.

Bri (08:47)
Yeah, our bodies are fascinating. That is for sure.

And so at some point their conversation comes up about having surgery and you mentioned the transnoidal, transnoidal, I'm not gonna be able to pronounce it. I'm gonna let you say it.

Mike (09:00)
Transsphenoidal.

Bri (09:03)
Thank you, thank you.

And that's surgery through your nose, which is a little unique. I don't know many brain tumor patients or survivors who have had that experience. What was the reasoning of that approach versus a craniotomy which I think people are more familiar with?

Mike (09:06)
That's right.

Mike (09:18)
Well, because compared to craniotomies, it's easy. If you were to look it up, a transsphenoidal pituitary resection, it's a pretty straight shot through the nose. They have to chisel a hole through the skull get to the the adenoma, but directionally it's like almost straight in through the nose to the pituitary fossa. That's the cavity in the skull where the pituitary resides, by the way.

Bri (09:44)
I love this anatomy lesson that we're getting. This is great. This is great.

Mike (09:47)
Oh, it's horrible. It's stuff you have to learn.

Bri (09:50)
Yes.

Mike (09:50)
When you have these things, it's stuff you just need to know.

Bri (09:52)
Yes, absolutely. And so I assume even though it's an easy procedure in terms of access, they're still putting you under and this is not an awake surgery, correct?

Mike (10:06)
That's correct. And when I say the first one's the worst, I don't know what the numbers are, but I don't think there are very many people that have second ones or third or fourth. I'm unique in more ways than one.

But the first one is much harder because they have to make the path to get to it. This surgery is actually a two surgeon team. You have to have an ENT that makes the path and then the neurosurgeon does the resection and then the ENT closes the path back up.

And so I he said, “yeah so we got to go in there and we got to make a hole in your skull.”

And I and I said, “so what do you so what do you do with the hole?”

And he looked at me and he says, “well, have you ever seen human skull before? You know, just an anatomy class or biology class, whatever.” He said, “you see how many holes are in that skull?”

And I said, “yeah.”

He said, “you're going to have one more.”

Bri (10:59)
So they're just going to leave it.

Mike (11:01)
They do. That's a, that was his way explaining to me. His way of making me feel like it's okay because there's already a bunch of other holes in there anyway. So you're just going to have one more than the average person. But see, that's good when it comes to a repeat resection because subsequently, they don't have to make that hole.

Bri (11:21)
Yeah, and so of course, as you alluded to, you ended up having three more of these. Is that because they weren't able to get it all and it re-grew or are these new tumors or why so many?

Mike (11:33)
There's not a singular answer to that question.

Bri (11:36)
Of course, there never is in these kinds of situations, right?

Mike (11:40)
So, the way it evolved was the first surgeon went in and basically wasn't comfortable with respecting it. It was a difficult surgery, but I still respected him. If he's not comfortable with removing the tumor because he thinks he can make me go blind, or worse, then I think that's exactly what he should do.

So my first surgery, all that was really accomplished was he removed, he biopsied it. Well he said he hollowed it out, but subsequent MRIs did not support that. He thought he did. He's a surgeon, but we're all just people and he did the best he could. So I don't hold anything against him, but it was essentially an unsuccessful surgery.

But he was able to get a biopsy of it that was sent off and they were able to determine that it was benign, which they suspected it was. A pituatory adenoma is upper 90% of the time, benign. That's like the most positive spin on the tumor that I have. I've never had to deal with the worry of, you know, cancer or malignancy, because that's a whole other level that I've never had to go to.

So he recommended radiation to reduce the size of the tumor. Ultimately, knowing what I know now, the wrong decision. It should have been further resected first. At that time, I didn't know that.

Subsequent surgeons were able to remove larger portions of it. So what really should have happened is a follow-up resection from a more confident surgeon. But instead of recommending that, he recommended radiation.

Well, me having no idea what's going on still, of course, said, “OK, you want to radiate it? That's what we'll do.”

It's the pinpoint radiation therapy, you know, where they can target it. They make a plaster mold or mesh mold of your face and they put it on a frame with bolts, screws because you literally can't move because they're dosing the radiation to a very specific area. So they lay you on the table and they put this mask on your face and then they bring a literal DeWalt screw gun in there and they screw your head down to the table. And then the machine comes over you and it zaps. But it's a lot. I did six weeks of radiation and it was far worse than any of the surgeries I had.

Bri (14:06)
What made it worse?

Mike (14:09)
Horrible headaches, fatigue. It was just horrible. I never had any headaches. The only symptoms I ever had to know that I had this tumor was slight vision loss. But when I started the radiation, had lots of headaches every time and they were residual, but I'm thinking, no pain, no gain, right?

Because the headaches got so bad, about halfway through my radiation, I remember doing an MRI. Typically they wait for while afterwards to see the result. Well, the tumor reacted and swelled. It actually increased in size with the radiation.

Bri (14:43)
So did they continue with the radiation at that point or did they pause and recalibrate so to speak?

Mike (14:47)
They stopped referred me to a neurological center about an hour and 15 minute drive. They said, “well, go see this guy.”

And I said, “okay.”

At this point, I'm just still on for the ride. Like, okay.

And he ended up being an incredible neurosurgeon. I felt much better about him and his qualification. Ultimately, I found out my first neurosurgeon was more of a back surgery kind of guy.

Bri (15:13)
Wow.

Mike (15:13)
You know, but I don't know at the time. Lesson number one, do your research.

Bri (15:16)
I think about this so often for the doctors and the surgeons and the oncologists and whatnot. And this is not not to put them down at all. It's just the reality of the situation. They see this stuff every day. This is old hat to them.

But for us, this is brand new. We've never heard it before. We've never experienced before. We don't know it. Let alone do we know what questions to ask. What are some of those questions that you wish you had asked the first time around?

Mike (15:43)
Well, specifically, have you seen this before? Have you performed this surgical procedure before? I assumed that he's a surgeon, a neurosurgeon. You know the expression. What do you think I'm a brain surgeon?

Bri (15:53)
He really is.

Mike (15:54)
He literally is. So I think he knows what he's talking about or he would disqualify himself. But you know, again I don't think he did anything malicious. I think that if he didn't think he could perform the surgery, he wouldn’t have done it. But at the same time, I did have much better success when I ended up with Dr. Theo, who at the time had literally done hundreds of these surgeries before?

Bri (16:18)
So he had a lot more experience directly with what you were facing.

Mike (16:22)
Exactly. Yeah, and, you know, it matters, you know. Everything that any of us do with our skill sets in life, the more we do it, the better we get at it.

So he looked at it and said, “I'm confident that I can resect a much larger portion of this tumor.”

He recommended I have another transsphenoidal surgery. Literally, at the point, what choice do I have? If it keeps growing, I mean, my vision's just gonna get worse. It was a simple decision. I mean, nothing means you're going to go blind. You don't know how long before it swells to the point where it completely blocks the nerve endings, whatever, and you can't see at all. Or you make a reasonable effort.

I felt more confident. He had done more surgeries and he was sure that he could remove more of the tumor than was initially removed. And so I agreed to that second surgery and that was 2010.

Bri (17:15)
So your second surgery was successful, but of course, as you shared, you had two more of these surgeries. And then what you shared with me before is you kind of entered this period where I'm kind of free and clear, and this is behind me.

Mike (17:30)
He did the resection in 2010 and it was successful. When I woke up in surgery, I could see. Vision was fully restored.

Bri (17:36)
Wow, just like that. Like snap of a finger.

Mike (17:38)
You go in, you can't see. You go home. You sleep for five hours. You wake up. You can see.

Bri (17:43)
Wow.

Mike (17:44)
When I woke up from the surgery, my vision was clear. I felt good.

So I had follow-up MRIs every six months, but it started to grow again, which it wasn't supposed to do. So in 2012, he said, it's growing just fast enough. Let's try another resection and see if I can get some more of it out and recommended radiation, a second round of radiation. So I did that for six weeks. It was similar, but not as bad as the first time around.

The radiologist said, you know, we're giving you the maximum amount of radiation that you could have in a lifetime. He said, we're going to attack this thing. And that was 2012. And so from 2012 through 2016, um, every six months, I had an MRI.

So I had eight, eight or so, maybe 10 MRIs that showed no significant change in the tumor. I was asymptomatic. My vision was as good as it ever was. The tumor had not grown. I'm good. They won, right?

Bri (18:43)
Earlier, we talked about your daughters and at the time when all of this started that they're mostly teenagers with one at eight years old. What kinds of conversations are you having with them through this process. How aware are they of what you're experiencing?

Mike (18:57)
I felt like I kept them fully shielded from it. And to this day, my youngest, she doesn’t remember the first three. She remembers me like being in a hospital and coming home and having to be on the couch for a couple of weeks or whatever. That's all she remembers. So for them, I protected, I guess.

Bri (19:17)
How did you arrive at that decision?

Mike (19:19)
It's going to be what it's going to be and bringing them into the worry, it doesn't help anything, I didn't think. It wasn’t going to… It certainly wasn’t going to make me feel better. Um, if anything, it was making me feel worse for making them worry. So I just figured that I would just protect them from the fear.

Bri (19:35)
It's interesting, I've talked with several guests who have this dynamic of conversations with children and one thing that I'm kind of learning through all of this and, it's no surprise, but every conversation is different and every family dynamic is different. And there is no right or wrong way to have these conversations, whether it's your children, your spouse, your friends or family. It really is considering what is right for you. I can absolutely understand wanting to protect them and shield them from something like this, especially when there's so much you don't even know about it.

Mike (20:08)
Yeah, everybody's personality is different as you very well know and I'm not one to be oodled, coddled, felt sorry for. I don't look for attention. Actually, I don't want it. I shy away from it. I prefer to handle things on my own and I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just saying this is the way I am.

Bringing people in to worry with me doesn't help me. Some people it does. It may give them some comfort. The feeling I get from that is that I've brought worry into their life that they can't help. They can't change it. They can't do anything about it. I feel like I make them feel helpless. I feel like I put them in a bad position. I appreciate the fact that they love me and they want to care for me, but they can't help. They can't do anything about it. And for me to bring them into it, for them to just worry about it, I just don't feel like it really helps anyone.

And it's not about pushing anybody away and not caring and not wanting them to help. It's not about that. I'm not trying to take anything away from anyone, but it's just, all of that help and everything you want to do doesn't help.

Bri (21:19)
What did you find helpful for you?

Mike (21:21)
Knowledge, results, facts. I don't know, sounds kinda cold doesn’t it?

Bri (21:25)
Oh my gosh, not at all. I mean it makes perfect sense from what you shared earlier about really struggling with the unknown. That's literally the opposite of the unknown is having the knowledge and the understanding and the facts of things. And so that absolutely makes sense.

Mike (21:40)
Somebody telling me everything's gonna be all right, but it's not nearly as comforting as me finding out factual knowledge of what could happen.

Bri (21:47)
And so then what did end up happening? We know you've brought us up to 2016 where you've had eight MRIs that showed no growth. What happens from there?

Mike (21:47)
So last fall, September or so, I was like jumping curbs with my truck, on the right side and I couldn't pull into parking space properly. My wife and kids, they make fun of me and they’re like, “yeah, you can't park anymore.”

I would run into doorknobs, and I'd have like bump bruises and stuff on my forearms. I didn't think any of it. The last thing in the world I thought was I had a brain tumor again.

You know, I did actually start wearing glasses again. Had nothing to do with the surgery. My vision started decreasing because of my age.

The exact same thing happened. I thought I needed a new pair of glasses. I went to an optometrist and they're giving me the vision test and I'm wiggling around in the vision thing they put you in. And the tech says, “what are you doing?”

I said, “well, I can't see all the lines.”

“What do mean?”

I said, “the chart, it's five columns wide. So when they block my left eye, I can only see the three right columns. And when they block my right eye, I can only see the three right columns.”

So I'm moving my head trying to find the letters. He's asked me to read all five letters, but I can only see three of them.

Bri (23:14)
Talk about deja vu.

Mike (23:18)
Yes, but it still hasn't hit me yet cause I've literally, in my mind, I'm literally done. This tumor is gone. I mean, it's out, it's been 13 years, right? So it's done.

Bri (23:26)
Yeah.

Mike (23:26)
There's no such thing. And so the optometrist comes in and she tells me the exact same thing. She said, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sir. This is not refractory.”

And I started crying. Yep. Sorry. Hit me like a… Sorry…

Bri (23:39)
No, that's okay.

Mike (23:43)
Sorry

Bri (23:44)
Nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all.

Mike (23:50)
After everything I've been through, everything that happened, I still didn't realize it until she said that. And it just flooded back. It’s like here we go again.

Sorry.

Bri (23:58)
No, no, it's nothing to be sorry about. This is how it is.

Mike (24:06)
The bad part about it for me is in that period of time from that 13 years. The tumor is a very slow growing tumor, but apparently it was growing the entire time. I still have never had any headaches from this thing. It's still only been the vision.

So this time, it uh, the tumor went suprasellar, which means it grew out of the pituitary fossa, which means that the upper portion of the tumor is not accessible transsphenoidally.

When I went to see the surgeon this time, he said, “well, in all likelihood, you're going to have to have two surgeries. We still need to try to remove all of it.”

He air quoted it. He said, “we’ll do the easy part first, which is a transsphenoidal portion in your fossa, but if that doesn't relieve the pressure on the chiasm, then we'll have to do a follow-up surgery cranially. And that's fast forward to today. We did the transsphenoidal for the fourth time.

And it was successful, but as he literally worded it, he said, “this is the most badly behaving tumor I've ever seen in my life. Between four sections and two bouts of radiation, it's still there.”

Bri (25:24)
I know we started out and it was really important to share that this was a benign tumor. It almost feels like a benign word in these kinds of situations. Because, you know, sure, it's not cancerous, so to speak. But with brain tumors in particular, benign doesn't really mean benign. there's still…

Mike (25:37)
(sniffle)

Bri (25:46)
so much. It can always come back. It can grow again. Doing surgery in the brain is, as you've mentioned, very challenging, unlike other parts of the body. And so, we say it's a benign tumor, but in reality, what this part of our conversation is really bringing to light is that there really is nothing benign about this.

Mike (26:06)
Well, I've always been, if there is such a thing as lucky, I've been lucky that they've been able to control what they did as long as they did transsphenoidally because it's minimally invasive, relevant to like what you had done. So I didn't want to join your club, but I'm getting ready to.

So it's it's a whole nother level of scared, it's not the same. But I also know it's gonna be okay. It's scary and worrisome, but I really feel like it's gonna be okay.

Bri (26:31)
What gives you that confidence?

Mike (26:37)
(laughter) Denial. No, I don't know.

Bri (26:39)
Hahaha

Mike (26:43)
I want to say that, but I've always been a believer in the medical and scientific community. This time I did my due diligence on my neurosurgeon to make sure he's experienced in these specific surgeries. It feels weird to be like you're vetting a neurosurgeon.

Bri (27:06)
It's important. You have to. You have to. I mean, it's like you're not going to take a Toyota to the Ford dealership for them to work on it.

Mike (27:10)
This is my humble opinion. It doesn't matter if he was successful 99,000 times. If he's never done the one that you have to have, how do you know how good he is at it? I don't know if that's right or wrong, but that's way I feel about now.

He’s an extremely confident guy. I mean, he explained it thoroughly, what's gonna happen and he said, “I have no idea exactly what I'm going to see when I get in there. MRIs, CTs are great maps, but they don't tell you everything.”

He equated a tumor to yogurt. And he said, “we, as surgeons, never remove all of the tumor. There's always residual tumor. He said, if you've ever eaten yogurt with a spoon, no matter how hard you try with that spoon, there's still some left in the cup when you get done.

Bri (28:11)
That’s a really great analogy, actually.

Mike (28:12)
That's what he said. And he told me that, “we resect as much as we can, but we never get it all. It's just not possible. But the problem is sometimes it's frozen yogurt. You have to like chip it out in pieces because it's hard. Your biopsy indicates it's fibrous, it's been resected, it's been radiated twice, so it's probably fibrous and hard. So yours will be a little more difficult than most of them.”

But he said, “I'm confident that I can take some of the pressure off of your chiasm. I don't know how much. I can't guarantee you anything. I wouldn't recommend or suggest this surgery if I didn't think I could take some pressure off.”

And I believed him, and he's done a hundred of these things. With that kind of confidence, at some point in time, you just gotta just suck it up and trust somebody and, and, and feel and have faith and believe in what they're saying. And, and I do, and I trust him. I think I'm gonna get a positive result.

I’m not a very hopeful person, which is sad to say, but it's true. I'm more factual in reality and hardline or whatever you want to call it. But, you know, I'm hopeful.

Bri (29:24)
I'm hopeful with you. And I know all the listeners are as well. In 10 days, you'll be having your first craniotomy, your fifth surgery for this tumor. And we will be rooting for you, cheering for you from all around the world because we do have listeners all over the world believe it or not. It's kind of crazy thinking about that right now considering where this started. But I know you will be having so many people from all around the world sending you all of the good vibes and good energy and prayers and all the things that anyone participates in in their own way.

Mike, how has all of this rewired your mind?

Mike (30:03)
As I said, I shield my friends, my family from it.

It's nice to let it out.

And I really let it out, didn't I?

Bri (30:16)
Hey, that's okay. It's all welcome.

I always tell, tell guests when we're preparing there, there's nothing that you can put on the table in the conversation that would shock me or cause any kind of surprising reaction. I'm comfortable with any and all of it, including the tears, including the anger, including Keppra rage, even at times. So yeah, this is a space for that.

I know I said this in the beginning, but I want to reiterate it again, especially at such a pivotal moment in your journey, such a vulnerable moment in your journey that you have been willing to take time to connect and share your story. And I know it's not done. Not only am I hopeful, but I am certain that it is not done. I know we'll be having another conversation.

Mike (31:07)
I’m counting on that.

Bri (31:14)
Thank you for being part of the Rewired Minds community. Full show notes, resources, and a transcript for today's conversation can be found at rewired-minds.com. If you or someone you know has a brain tumor story to share, I'd love to hear from you. Visit rewired-minds.com to learn more about collaborating on a future episode. This podcast is a one woman labor of love. It's a true honor to bring it to your ears and facilitate connection among the brain tumor community. If this episode resonated with you, please rate, review, and share with someone who might need to hear it.

Bri (31:41)
The stories shared in this podcast are personal accounts from the brain tumor community for informational and awareness purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding your specific situation.